Beautiful Love

Right; so I wrote this 'song' a couple of months ago and then yesterday I kinda erased it and rewrote the piece in 7 and a half minutes (Cake break counted =P)

Beautiful,
Is the twinkle in your eyes,
When I see you smile,
At me.

Beautiful,
How you swept me off my feet,
Purely,
So easily.

And when you held out your hand for me,
I knew you knew I always knew;

It's so plain and so perfect,
Don't you think it's so wonderful,
It's a beautiful love,
And I owe it all to you.

Beautiful,
Is the feeling when I look behind,
To find you,
Standing there.

Beautiful,
When you touch my eyes,
And clear those teardrops,
Away.

And when you save me from falling apart,
I knew you knew I always knew;

I want you to know,
That it's more than just a miracle,
It's a beautiful love,
And I owe it all to you.

Beautiful,
Is the way you teach me,
Little things in life,
Eagerly.

Beautiful,
When you guide me to dance,
Under the moonlight,
In the rain.

And when you make the time slow down,
I knew you knew I always knew;

There's magic everywhere,
It sparkles when you're around,
It's a beautiful love,
And I owe it all to you.

Beautiful,
When you forget the present,
So easily,
For me.

Beautiful,
Is how I deeply care,
About this trust you have,
In me.

And the way my head fits into your neck,
I knew you knew I always knew;

It just needs some evil,
To make it a fairytale,
It's a beautiful love,
And I owe it all to you.

Author's Note

Good critique always welcomed =)

Reviews

[dreamer :)]

That really is what beautiful love is!

[Miss Coral]

This was so sweet. :)
In some parts, the rhythm seemed a bit off to me, a bit inconsistent or something, but was otherwise okay. Also, the huge amount of adverbs was a bit much for me, but that could have been a personal aversion.

Great piece. c:

[thatbryngirl]

Wow this is SO beautiful.
"And when you save me from falling apart,
I knew you knew I always knew;

I want you to know,
That it's more than just a miracle,
It's a beautiful love,
And I owe it all to you."
and..
"Beautiful,
When you guide me to dance,
Under the moonlight,
In the rain.

And when you make the time slow down,
I knew you knew I always knew;

There's magic everywhere,
It sparkles when you're around,
It's a beautiful love,
And I owe it all to you."

Just WOW. i SO enjoyed reading this. it was just so beautiful! I love how everything fit together so well and how it flowed, and even tho it didn't rhyme each time, it was still so good. Wonderful job!

[Bubo]

Love teaches us growth and you have expressed a deep love on many levels.......I liked the layout and lyrical flow, and a great reminder love exists, and is beautiful.

[.]

"And when you held out your hand for me,
I knew you knew I always knew;'

...first i like this phrase the sets up the verse...
--these two lines really say a lot--especially said out loud-
...i can just hear it being sung...wonderful !!!
-i don't know why those lines affect me so much...love it though...

"It's so plain and so perfect,
Don't you think it's so wonderful,
It's a beautiful love,
And I owe it all to you."

...and this is beautiful too -

"It just needs some evil,
To make it a fairytale,
It's a beautiful love,
And I owe it all to you."

..just gorgeous-this entire song is full of love...

"Beautiful,
When you guide me to dance,
Under the moonlight,
In the rain."

..."Beautiful"---no doubt--i am in love with this...Excellent!!!

james:-)

[Dinesh Sairam]

"It just needs some evil,
To make it a fairytale,
It's a beautiful love,
And I owe it all to you."

I was never the guy for 'Beautiful love', at least not until now. But this write blew me away. There are a few cliches, but that matters least. I can find no other thing to critique upon. Very well done.

I loved the following two stanzas :


Beautiful,
Is how I deeply care,
About this trust you have,
In me.

And the way my head fits into your neck,
I knew you knew I always knew.

You paint a picture on very simple yet beautiful things. You have captured many a hearts :) I just wish love is as beautiful as you mention. For me, true love is still a petty little stranger, very tender and sublime.

Keep writing.

[Khaaki]

this is so musical... looks like a song that stirs the soul...

[Molafvt]

This was about as simply put as a poem can be written and for that reason makes a tour de force in it's simplicity alone. There can be no confusion about your message. It is love without challenge, without doubt, without struggle. It is an innocent love and a love without pettiness or trepidation. Add in a little Evil and the love somehow becomes even more than beautiful. Surviving this much needed stain of reality, the love will become not only a fairy tale, but a mature love, balanced and full of contrast. Be careful what you wish for. If only we could love without all the other crap, but then I suppose that would get boring after a while. "Beautiful" write Arwa

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I know you knew I always knew that this is a beautiful song, but I had to say it anyway. There really is a beautiful lilt and melody to the song that, despite not being able to hear the music, I can hear it anyway.

[Snapdragon]

You know the ones that comes out so quickly are written through inspiration. I think those are the best kind. The sincerity of this comes out the strongest. The reader feels so much as they read it and I always think that's more important than structure. Love this.