Liquid Shackles

Answer to the poems full of pain challenge-Suggestions for title welcomed and appreciated.

Liquor of my demise,

Thief of morals, assassin of dreams

Capturing me with talons

Of sweet, demon like nectar

Depriving lungs of airflow  

As it strangles relentlessly

Racing through my bloodstream

Spreading poison of gold

Devouring all senses

Depleting self control

Mutating my heart

To a tornado like pit

Body forsaking me

No longer am I me

Destruction is my target,

To my body, to my soul

No one is safe here

There’s no shield you can bare

I’m raging in a malady

With no mercy, no morals

Psychosis has engulfed me

With a leash, meager and taut

Alcohol is my master

And I am it’s slave

Author's Note

Please feel free to be as constructively honest as you wish. Any suggestions or corrections are much appreciated. Do not rate or review based on opinion or subject of this piece. If you would like the favor returned please send me a read request or a message with the piece you wish for me to review! Happy writing :D

Reviews

[RubyOmma]

Body forsaking me
No longer am I me

Psychosis has engulfed me
With a leash, meager and taut

Alcohol is my master
And I am it’s slave

These are my favorite lines. I think you did a good job describing the disease. Great work.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Dayran]

hi Briana ... how are you doing? A great write that gives the feel of a white water ride in a barrel. And as Parker and Hart ... once asked commented in ... The Wizard of ID ... ' Fool ... you're going to be smashed on the stones below ' ... to which the fool answers ... ' I'll be stoned before I'm smashed.' Welcome back.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Einstein Noodle]

great pic!! how about "Shackles for Disaster" ? .. so many fine descriptive lines .. i stalled in the tornado pit to feel all those cuts, bruises and abrasions .. great lines if you ask me! .. and the psychosis at the end .. such a complete capture of alcoholism ... nice job says i!
how about "Tornado Pit" ;))
E.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and your suggestions on the title. :D

[R Smith]

a great poem on the dangers of the demon drink, you certainly unleashed a torrent of rage at this social disease, very well written Briana :)

Title: it struck me as i wrote this that, 'The Demon Drink' or 'This Social Disease' might fit as possible titles.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you for your suggestions and taking the time to read :D

[Pushkar Prabhat]

unfortunate.......break away soon......
very beautifully written......
loved the poem.....
:)
long time no see........hope its not alcohol: D

[Briana O'Connor]

this is a poem about the past. thank you for reading :D

[Coyote Poetry]

I do understand this poem.
"I’m raging in a malady
With no mercy, no morals"
I lived in bars for twenty years. Easy to befriend the booze. Hard to lose the need for it. I liked the description and the questions at the end. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[AaronFreitas]

Great thoughts in this poem... it's amazing how something as simple as alcohol can become the destruction of a human. Good work I really enjoyed it.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you very much :D

[Sami Khalil]

"Destruction is my target,
To my body, to my soul

No one is safe here
There’s no shield you can bare"

You bare the truth about substance abuse in this marvelous write...Bravo....

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).....

[Emily]

Great idea for a poem!
Well done!

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D