Liquid Shackles

Answer to the poems full of pain challenge-Suggestions for title welcomed and appreciated.

Liquor of my demise,

Thief of morals, assassin of dreams

Capturing me with talons

Of sweet, demon like nectar

Depriving lungs of airflow  

As it strangles relentlessly

Racing through my bloodstream

Spreading poison of gold

Devouring all senses

Depleting self control

Mutating my heart

To a tornado like pit

Body forsaking me

No longer am I me

Destruction is my target,

To my body, to my soul

No one is safe here

There’s no shield you can bare

I’m raging in a malady

With no mercy, no morals

Psychosis has engulfed me

With a leash, meager and taut

Alcohol is my master

And I am it’s slave

Author's Note

Please feel free to be as constructively honest as you wish. Any suggestions or corrections are much appreciated. Do not rate or review based on opinion or subject of this piece. If you would like the favor returned please send me a read request or a message with the piece you wish for me to review! Happy writing :D

Reviews

[Enigmatic Amor]

I love the flow and the word usage. I think this could be a powerful poem of addiction, any addiction, if you replace the two references to liquor and alcohol with more subtle words. Excellent write!

[Johnson Bobby]

caught up in the grips not of the drink but of myself
I can;t find clairity sometimes I miss THE TRUTH
A BOUT ME until I find me

[ManasaC]

Only watched the movies where people have fallen prey to what this monster does. Now I felt it too...Brilliantly put

[B]

Alcohol is a curse in a way

its like u cant be one person
and could never have fun without it

so i feel your every word there

[I Am Svetlana]

I admire this piece because it tells of an inner struggle, cured by alcohol. Also, the fourth line should be "Of sweet, demon-like nectar", just a suggestion. This is a very emotional piece and I like how you tell each stanza of how the alcohol is taking affect. Very wonderful write!

[Steve L.]

Damn this one cuts like a knife...Brutal and honest...

[Troy Henson]

I enjoyed this one. The piece built with emotion in each line and the story amongst the words is pure genius. Alcohol consumption is unfortunately seen as a common fix however in the wrong mood, the wrong state of mind this fix is quite destructive.

Nice work:)

[Confuser]

It's like a panademic. Slow, steadily you built layers into a dying soul. No spirit left. Absence of emotions with no control. Thought it was a brilliant writing. Trapped with no way out lured like a cantagion into a bottomless pit. So well written. Bravo. Thanks. Dale

[Rana]

The best thing about the poem is the choice of words and the brevity and precise description which shows your mastery of the language and skill of expressing yourself. The poem does not speak of intense pain, but rather shows the ill effects of alcohol very poetically. I feel the current title is perfect. Some suggestions- He Devours Me; Gulps That Burn

[Parimal Pratyush]

Amazing work. I have always read that drinking up to a limit periodically is great for health. But I have had tough and real bad experiences with regular drunkards. This perfectly describes why alcohol, over and above your intake capacity is so dangerous, how it begins playing with your mind. :D

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you very much for taking the time to read and sharing your perspective :D