Within

Beautiful is the spirit which drifts in the wind

Up on the mountain tops and down by the sea

Beautiful is the soul which dances through the mist

All through the valley and amongst the shore

Man stands before me simple to the eye

But my heart senses his complexity

The depth of the being that lies within

Woman sits in waiting, elegantly timeless

Smiling through the windows that outline her eyes

Leading to the secrets masked by allure

Shallow is the nature of perception

Divided into pieces by exterior poise

Seeing each costume, failing to feel

Neglecting to unmask the inner psyche

Bless-ed am I to have seen through the charade

Meeting each moment as if it were the last

Studying each flaw, surveying each gem

Gifted are the observers of the beyond

For beyond is the love, the reason and the hope

There lies the truth that drives each step

Beautiful is the spirit that drifts with the spirit

Accepting the flaws as perfection at its pique

Beautiful is the soul that dances with the soul

Drowning out criticism with the grace of a dove

Author's Note

Please feel free to be as constructively honest as you wish. Any suggestions or corrections are much appreciated. Do not rate or review based on opinion or subject of this piece. If you would like the favor returned please send me a read request or a message with the piece you wish for me to review! Happy writing :D

Reviews

[Steve L.]

One of my favorites by you! Great flow to it and it is overflowing with intellectual content.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much :D

[Baby Ricochet]

This is like really new agey. thanks

[Briana O'Connor]

Is new agey is good thing? lol

[Sami Khalil]

A graceful write of the spirit filled with joy. The truth lies withing so we need to find it every step of the way. Thank you for sharing...:).......

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...........................

[MomzillaNC]

You've used great imagery and meter and shown that looking beyond the surface, behind the masks all humankind shield themselves behind is to be found the true depth of the human soul, that part that is worth knowing. This summed up for me in the line… "Studying each flaw, surveying each gem"

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much for your kind words. So glad you liked it. :D I wrote this at 3 am when I could not sleep, and at that time it made no sense to me, but I figured I'd post it anyway lol. So glad to see that it did not turn out a jumbled, sleep deprived mess! :D

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[Leigh]

The Increasing and decreasing number of lines works as it drew me in and made the quantity easier to digest. I feel a very positive energy from the elegant beauty you describe, this is a kind of written purification.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much for you kind words :D

[Einstein Noodle]

are you saying that men are complicated idiots and women are patient and wise??? (just kidding)

i like the turn in the 5th verse .. its my favorite :) i agree with others about the flow and mixing couplets with three and four lines .. starting and ending with the couplets brings it all home ... lots of sound wisdom to be taken in your poem .. nice one!
E.

[Briana O'Connor]

Lol no that was not my intented portrayal...but maybe you have a guilty concious? :P Thank you so much for your kind words!

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahahahee! yeh! that most likely .. i am a guilty salty dog! :))

[Briana O'Connor]

Lol At least your honest :P

[Leslie Philibert]

A fine poem that I enjoy. One small point, why the split stress in Bless-ed ? Not too sure you need that, but that´s my pov. A really fine meter here, with elegant triolets and couplets,well written.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you for your feedback. I debated on that word for a bit. The single syllable just didn't seem to sound right. I added the emphasis on the word, because it seemed to fit. Still not sure of the word choice there. I may just change the word completely once I've had some time to meditate on the piece. Thank you for reading :D

[Angad Waraich]

A very nice flow and rhythm, also the imagery was wonderful.
It was a good read.

Well done.

Thank you for sharing.
-Angad

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much :D

[Angad Waraich]

.You're most welcome.

[R Smith]

'Studying each flaw, surveying each gem'

no flaw here just a perfect gem, beautiful writing Briana, straight into my library so that i can savour it over and over again, lovely :)

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much for your kind review :D

[R Smith]

your always welcome young lady :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

graphics and words both are attractive, expression is so good, a nice job :)

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D