After Earth

7 verse Haiku

I stand awaiting

Before the Holy Savior.

Rising... He ponders.

Descend or Ascend?

Pearly gates? Fiery Vault?

The question of fate.

My story is placed

Upon the table of truth

For the Father’s eyes.

Saint?.. Certainly not.

Sinner?.. Definitely so,

But hurrah, there’s hope.

He rests inside me,

Washing away my evils

And imperfections

Something considered

By the King of the Heavens,

Mercy is within,

Smiling he says,

“Go forth my child. Arise,

You have earned your wings!"

Author's Note

Please feel free to be as constructively honest as you wish. Any suggestions or corrections are much appreciated. Do not rate or review based on opinion or subject of this piece. If you would like the favor returned please send me a read request or a message with the piece you wish for me to review! Happy writing :D

Reviews

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

I really liked this Oh so slightly irreverent take on judgement. It even made me smile. Really clever. Well done. Loved it.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[BClancy]

Nice! I really liked the religious themes, and I thought it was very well written. Enjoyed it :)

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Zakari Schmidt]

If only we had a choice like weights on a scale. Besides metaphorically speaking. I liked this a lot though, very cool poem worth multiple reads

[Briana O'Connor]

so happy you enjoyed it. thank you so much

[SmittyJas]

Sounds like my heavenly Jesus to me great presentation.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Dayran]

Congratulations! May you find what you seek. Nice ...

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[realmwriter]

I question not, nor judge your faith. That is not for me, or us, to do. This is a wonderful write and so very true. Though I do feel the need to point out that Angels don't actually have wings. Seraphim and cherubim do however. Hope that isn't insulting to you. It certainly isn't meant as such. Love the write and the subject.

[Briana O'Connor]

Nah I've had a few people point out different things wrong with the facts in this one, but this is not based on fact. It's simply an expression of a prompt I stumbled upon about describing what life after death might be like. None of this piece is based on fact, just on inspiration. Thank you for reading.

[realmwriter]

Thank you for posting it was a good read. And you are very welcome.

[RAOrourke]

Beautifully written nice job! Descend or Ascend?
Pearly gates? Fiery Vault?
The question of fate. so very true, it all comes down to this!

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you so much

[Christopher Robin]

Overall good poem, fantastic imagery in a constrictive format. Your final two stanzas do not conform to the 5-7-5 of a Haiku. 2nd last is 5-7-4 and last is 4-6-5.

Also I thought St.Peter made these decisions, not the saviour, but it's been a while since Sunday school.
Please write more free-form, your obvious talent is wasted in mathematical restrictions.

-Robin

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you for pointing those out. I have fixed them. I write whatever my little heart desires, because that is who I am. I appreciate you seeing more talent than restriction allows. The majority of my poetry is free form, however when I have nothing to write about I go seeking out new things to try. More than half of my poems are free form.

[Christopher Robin]

My apologies I'm working my way through 100+ read requests and all of yours that have cropped up are stylized form poetry, looking forward to the unleashed stuff.

-Robin

[Briana O'Connor]

There's no need to apologize. Everybody has their preferences. You don't like my free form stuff either. lol. You commented on a lot of it before I deleted all my stuff for editing.

[Christopher Robin]

Ha! There's no pleasing some people eh? Oh dear I hope I haven't been too horrid, I am always compelled to review wherever I see talent, especially when there's potential with a wonky end-product. Maybe you're still finding your perfect groove and once you get there it will all shine out magnificently.

The I'll have to stop by and not like that either ;)

-Robin

[Briana O'Connor]

Lmao. In your defense the poems you commented on were pretty horrid. Sometimes I get on tangents and will write about the same line of topic...for example I had a bunch of gem poems. I wrote one that was pretty good, but then I ran the subject into the ground and produced some pretty elementary. I have to learn to write from the heart and not from my brain :D

[NoelHC]

That was a real challenge to keep it within the boundaries you set. Well done.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Avanthika]

splendid, go forth my frnd, you have earned your honor.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you :D