Falling Away

The winds are changing

Fall, fall, falling away…

Leaves and limbs

Rose petals and shrubbery

Fade, fade, fading away…

Colorful gardens and feathered flocks

Shades of green and edible treats

Blow, blow, blowing away…

Frolicking children and boisterous laughs

Walks in the park and laying beneath stars

Fall, fall, falling away…

Seasons of buoyant recess

And dances of the bohemian

Fade, fade, fading away…

Basking in lambency

Admiring angelic solace

Blow, blow blowing away

Aspiring Scenery

And impeccable cosmos

Fall, fall falling away…

The splendor of dog days

The seasons of Summer

Author's Note

Please feel free to be as constructively honest as you wish. Any suggestions or corrections are much appreciated. Do not rate or review based on opinion or subject of this piece. If you would like the favor returned please send me a read request or a message with the piece you wish for me to review! Happy writing :D

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

You really captured the evolving nature of Autumn.

NOTES: Consider changing the word "calefaction." I'm quite erudite and had to look that one up. I knew "aubade," but I'll bet most readers don't. I like to throw in the occasional new word too. But, from my years in publishing and design, I know that the readers will not look up words they don't know. If they can't glean the meaning from the context, they'll simply stop reading. Also, I can find no definition of "canderous" and am unsure of the meaning from the context.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you for your review

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. I hope it was helpful. I love the Thesaurus too! And, I love to see writers use all the language. If you're writing for other writers, then, cram in all the new and different words you can -- we'll read them and look them up because we are lovers of words. If you're writing for the average reader, though, they will not stretch themselves to look up and learn new words to understand. Newspapers are written on a about a fifth grade reading level; magazines are typically written on about an eighth grade level. Did you know that? The assumption, based upon reams of research and field data, is that the reader is -- as my old writing teacher put it -- "too lazy to be less stupid."

[Briana O'Connor]

Lmao. Well I fixed those words, and I thought I knew what canderous meant, but for the life of me I can not fine it again. I must of mispelled the original word I meant to use and now it's gone. I changed a few of the lines to add in some words that might be better understood. Those statistics are really sad. I, for one love learning new words and expanding past simplistic measures, but I will definitely keep that in mind if I ever decide to publish my poetry. I will have to "dumb" some of it down :P

[MomzillaNC]

Oh! Wow! Those lines really pack a punch now!

IKWYM! It's a sad statement on humanity: "too lazy not to be so stupid." But, those of us who love words, like being challenged. For us, there are papers out there like the WP and magazines like NG.

[Terpsichore]

Nice depiction of the turning of seasons. It all moves along rather nicely actually.

Couple of minor things, but only really typos and incorrect spellings, but the poem is good enough to deserve a tidy up.

T

[Briana O'Connor]

Can you explain what needs tidying up please?

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you for the new words .. wonderful language! i felt the letting go of things not winter .. a sadness for me :( ... these days as i greet them i try to hold them fast .. seeking denial of the expected blast .. my only hope becomes one for an Indian Summer :)
E.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you for reading :D

[Leslie Philibert]

I notice in your work you like linear patterns ( I just read the other poem),with repeats and lots of alliteration.If I had any criticism, I would reduce some of the adjectives, which sometimes work very
constructed. A fine write, well done.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[stars are far]

haha that went like a song in my head a very lovely song..
i loved how you described fall here.. well done :)

[Briana O'Connor]

lol funny thing is when I was writing it I was humming :D Thank you for reading.

[C. Rose]

Yay color :)
Yay rule of three
Yay structure
Yay Fall -the best season ever

Lots of yays for you :)

[C. Rose]

oh and yay word choice. That should've been the first yay.

[Briana O'Connor]

lol thank you for all the yay's :D much appreciate the enthusiasm!

[Rocans]

Nice one, though not my cup of tea with the theme. I like some of the words you use "lambency" is a word I had forgotten and aubade I flat out didnt know. You definitely improved my vocab with this piece.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Jackson H. Harley]

I love this, the flow of the repetition really works, and great imagery, nice work :)

[NoelHC]

I enjoy repetition of lines, words, and themes, I feel it gives a poem a song like quality. Nicely done.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you :D

[Malister Mikey]

I really liked this poem quite a bit you certainly made me think of fall, but really what caught my attention the most is the colors, I love when a writer makes their poems have color or just does something to catch my eye. You did a wonderful job on the flow and I overall really liked the poem. Great Work!

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much