Ecstasy in Twilight

The state between consciousness and dreams

Breathing in darkness,

My lids, they flitter.

Stars begin careening,

Burnishing gray,

Welcoming me back

To the gloaming cafe.

My mind starts whispering,

Opening to tranquillity,

Speaking of days happenings

And the sensation of it all.

But an aqueous like rapture

Sings lullabies within,

Dusting the gallery with silence.

My ears are tingling,

Absorbing soothing vibrations.

The whistle of the wind,

The churning of my fan,

They tingle at the serenity,

At the circumambient reclusion.

My body, it’s immersing

To the integument beneath.

I’m melting into the platform,

Becoming one with the world.

I’m soaring on darkness,

Meandering between galaxies.

I’m floating above reality

And drifting towards oblivion.

Author's Note

Please feel free to be as constructively honest as you wish. Any suggestions or corrections are much appreciated. Do not rate or review based on opinion or subject of this piece. If you would like the favor returned please send me a read request or a message with the piece you wish for me to review! Happy writing :D

Reviews

[Rocans]

Interesting piece...now this is right up my alley. I like the fantastical theme. I could see myself writing something like this (which I have) You have a broad vocabulary I see, I like that. But I have learnt to not saturate my poems with big words lest the essence of the poem become distorted. There are many lines I like within this one. Nice write, I think you deserve kudos for this one.

[Briana O'Connor]

thanks for reading

[NoelHC]

I wish I could prolong that time between wakefulness and sleep, usually it hits me while reading in bed, I drift, and usually wake with a start when the e-reader or book hits my nose. You captured that transition time well here.
I felt warm and dozy. (Well, I am always sort of "dozy", but you know what I meant.)
Well done.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you. so glad you liked it. I used to fall asleep with my nose in a book a lot when I was a teenager. Now I fall asleep at my computer or use my nook as a pillow lol

[Tricia Pattinson]

A dreamy and soothing write. The imagery is transporting. and with a captivating flow. I like this a lot.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Einstein Noodle]

the place between wakefulness and dreaming is sublime .. so your description captured me immediately ..
"..the gloaming cafe" .. gotta love that!! your poem held me all the way .. its only 8:38 am and i'm ready for a nap .. just to seek that place .. nicely said says i!
E.

[Briana O'Connor]

Lol. Naps are awesome! Thank you for your kind review. Sorry I made you sleepy :P

[Steve L.]

I really love and FEEL this one! Beautiful time of the day...

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Dayran]

The sleepless dream is a curious experience of neither being awake or asleep ... but we haven't learnt to understand it better nor what it makes us contact with. An informative poem ...

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Jackson H. Harley]

Quite simply a beautiful poem, love the concept and the abundance of awesome words, great piece :)

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Jackson H. Harley]

Welcome :)

[R Smith]

Its an instant in my library moment, I can't tell you how much I love this, its one of those poems you wish you had written, I’m soaring on darkness, Meandering between galaxies. I’m floating above reality And drifting towards oblivion. Wish I could drift there too, thanks for the words of beauty Briana :)

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much for your kind review. You actually can join me on my journey unless you don't sleep lol. What I was describing is that feeling we get when we are in the twilight stage between conciouness and sleep

[R Smith]

yes that's a beautiful and strange moment between the two, I love that moment, I do sleep hav'ent got my vampire badge yet lol

[Briana O'Connor]

Lol I'm sure you'll get your vampire badge the same day I get my top writer badge :P

[R Smith]

Thought you had that already :D

[Briana O'Connor]

nope I still got 3.8% to go lol. And this is the highest rating I've ever had. I usually stay around 89% for some reason. Damn haters. :P

[Chris]

I listened on you tube... The work is evident. You have a voice - that lends itself to being heard. The only flaw was the lack of emotion. The potential for the reading was immediately evident and then sorely missed.

Structure and word choice were appreciated. And I really listened...

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you :D

[Chris]

I'm not being mean... I really, really listened - you're THAT good that I cared enough to say something.

[Briana O'Connor]

I know you are not. When I recorded that I was in a room next to someone sleeping! :P I will rerecord it and if you want I can tell you so that you can rejudge me. I am new at the whole reading out loud thing and I get really nervous, because there's something about reading my work outloud that is just...idk...can't explain it. Pryde wants me to try though so I'm giving it a go.

[Chris]

SHE is an excellent resource and a good mentor. I didn't "judge" you though - I just listened TO you. A number of us here visit World Poetry Open Mic and present our "thoughts". It's a webcast on Friday nights, the host is a WC Member - J. Todd Underhill. It is also the name of a Group here that was formed to help others present their work. You should look into the Group and perhaps try out the webcast. Become comfortable with your expressing the thoughts you write. They do have archives you can hear of their weekly shows.

[Briana O'Connor]

ok thank you for the info

[MomzillaNC]

I love it when the writer stretches the use of the language -- and to see a fellow Thesaurus enthusiast. You've composed an elegant and drifting poem that captures the drifting free of falling asleep.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you :D Expanding my vocabulary is something I'm working on :P

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.