Ecstasy in Twilight

The state between consciousness and dreams

Breathing in darkness,

My lids, they flitter.

Stars begin careening,

Burnishing gray,

Welcoming me back

To the gloaming cafe.

My mind starts whispering,

Opening to tranquillity,

Speaking of days happenings

And the sensation of it all.

But an aqueous like rapture

Sings lullabies within,

Dusting the gallery with silence.

My ears are tingling,

Absorbing soothing vibrations.

The whistle of the wind,

The churning of my fan,

They tingle at the serenity,

At the circumambient reclusion.

My body, it’s immersing

To the integument beneath.

I’m melting into the platform,

Becoming one with the world.

I’m soaring on darkness,

Meandering between galaxies.

I’m floating above reality

And drifting towards oblivion.

Author's Note

Please feel free to be as constructively honest as you wish. Any suggestions or corrections are much appreciated. Do not rate or review based on opinion or subject of this piece. If you would like the favor returned please send me a read request or a message with the piece you wish for me to review! Happy writing :D

Reviews

[Satan]

You are extremely gifted and you inspire me. =]

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you so much :D

[Sindu]

Amazing! wish i can stay there forever :) Great imagery

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you :D

[Kasey Miriam]

Brilliantly written. The words chosen all stand out to really add meaning to the poem.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you so much :D

[SmittyJas]

This is a nightly wild dream for those people who explore the galaxy the star gazers the dreamers of dreams the prophet of old not a bargain place for the market to dwell in their souls. No matter how darken or blacken the marks may have been their robes can be washed as white as the driven snow. This is as close to reality as it gets Heaven and Hell weights in the balance Oh My God what a challenge.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you for reading

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the flow of words and how you described places and location. The ending is amazing.
"I'm soaring on darkness,
Meandering between galaxies.
I’m floating above reality
And drifting towards oblivion."
Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you :D

[Christopher Robin]

This is more like it, sacrifice a little of the cadence but we now have good verse, meter and some brilliant descriptive metaphor thrown in there.
One minor note, the use of 'dulce' is now slightly archaic unless you're from Spain, many might interpret that as having something to do with a girl, which seems out of place at this point in the poem. I'm guessing you mean 'sweet' and here 'dulcet' would serve you just as well, it is after all all derived from the same Latin origin, but the meaning is less ambiguous.

-Robin

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you for that lesson. I fixed it.

[Mayank]

"I’m floating above reality
And drifting towards oblivion." I loved this verse. The third stanza consist of very vivid great imagery.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you so much :D

[Alfred Kukitz]

A nice mix of heavily laced verses with simple like verses. You soothe without overwhelming the reader. I felt like I was floating with you (that might be envy speaking) feeling like I needed a similar rapture.

[Briana O'Connor]

Lol If you want to "float with me" All you have to do is lay down at about midnight tonight and close your eyes, breathe deeply and feel the sensations as you drift off to sleep! :P

[Alfred Kukitz]

See you tonight sweetie!

[TL Boehm]

lovely - to be able to relax and drift off. you penned that feeling perfectly.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you :D

[BClancy]

Really nice poem :) I very much liked the serene and dark feel to it. Thanks for sharing :)

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you :D