My Hollow Soul

To Whom It May Concern,

My heart, it’s exhausted, broken in too many pieces to count.

My mind, it’s frazzled, strained beyond its own comprehension.

My body, it’s dragging, patronizing its own existence.

My smile, it’s hiding, too ashamed to shed it’s light.

My eyes, they grow heavy, too weak to carry on.

This being has forsaken me.

I’m imprisoned in a hollow soul.

I’m dying...slowly,

Abandoning all power of will.

Sincerly,

Please Help Me...

Author's Note

Please feel free to be as constructively honest as you wish. Any suggestions or corrections are much appreciated. Do not rate or review based on opinion or subject of this piece. If you would like the favor returned please send me a read request or a message with the piece you wish for me to review! Happy writing :D

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

this is my favorite line:
"My body, it’s dragging, patronizing its own existence."

i like the simplicity of the plea ... "I’m imprisoned in a hollow soul." is intriguing .. because it includes the soul in all the other parts that are failing; but allows for the "I" .. the consciousness of "I" to be something else .. i don't think many human beings have escaped this "hitting bottom" .. seems in life that is were we actually begin ;)
E.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much for reading and your kind review.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

We all have our breaking points before life pushes us over the edge, I think we all have been there some point in our life.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much for reading.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

You are very welcome.

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

I absolutely love the way you wrote this as a letter and directed it to the whole world (even though I think when you were writing there was someone or a small group of specific people you had in mind if you ever really felt this bad off/ or wrote this for their eyes). The beginning described these feelings perfectly, I'm just one of many people who can say they know, they've been there, thank you for getting it so spot on. The ending was perfect, it had me fighting a few tears with how beautifully you were able to write something so completely heartbreaking.

fantastic.

I hope you don't actually understand these feelings

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I think everybody comes to understand these feelings at some point in their life. I believe that pain is what makes us grow. Thank you again for reading.

[Mazie]

That feeling of everything falling apart, from inside out... can relate to some extent with this one for sure, very well done, it certainly expresses deep emotions.

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you so much for reading.

[TL Boehm]

I've been in this place described by the poem - well penned. I wonder how many people feel like this and just...keeep....smiling.
Well done.

[Briana O'Connor]

1 million times 1 billion times 1 trillion...ect :D Anyone who says they haven't been here has not truly lived. Without pain there is no growth. Thank you for taking the time to read!

[NoelHC]

I have close family members that deal with depression, it is hard for one to understand, when everything on the outside looks "OK". You have expressed what goes on inside so well here.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you so much for reading!

[R Smith]

I like the line 'I’m imprisoned in a hollow soul.' so I would end up calling it My Hollow Soul, just a thought, its about how your so desperate with sadness and crying for help, a hollow soul springs to mind, I hope this is not inspired by anything you are going through, that would be a terrible thing to bear for you, so i'm hoping its poetic inspiration which was remarkable in the writing of this exceptional poem, keep it as it is Briana :)

[Briana O'Connor]

Thank you very much for your suggestion and your kind words. Much appreciated. This is inspired by my bouts of depression caused by my mental illness.

[R Smith]

I am so sorry to hear that Briana and equally sorry to have intruded on your illness with my comments, I hope I was not being clumsy and stupid talking as I did :)

[Briana O'Connor]

Not at all. I accept who I am :D

[R Smith]

That is a wonderful way to be :D

[MomzillaNC]

The sinking, fading sense of this one is palpable. I like the way the visual form also takes us into that fading sensation… the voice of pain crying out, fading and getting smaller as despair overwhelms.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you for your kind words

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[Malister Mikey]

The emotions in this piece are vivid and relatable, great work on this one.

[Briana O'Connor]

thank you for your kind words

[Malister Mikey]

you're welcome