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Even with the 'sweet reality' of the finale, this is incredibly chilling and intense...I take a lot of meds for a lot of different things, so this piece just hit me like a ton of bricks...wow...I could easily imagine this being acted out on a stage...
“Yet, here I am, everyday,
All set for your mind and I to vie.
If I’m not real,
If I don’t exist,
Then why not make me go?
That stanza made me gulp...amazing work...you definitely gripped me with this one :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and giving such positive feedback. I too, suffer fro.. read moreThank you very much for taking the time to read and giving such positive feedback. I too, suffer from a mental illness and am currently fighting for disability. One thing that helps keep me going is my writing and knowing that some of the most creative people in the world suffered as we do.
10 Years Ago
I know just how you feel...I was actually just finishing a piece that veers a bit into the same terr.. read moreI know just how you feel...I was actually just finishing a piece that veers a bit into the same territory...always a pleasure :)
marvelous, I love your words in this deep and intense poem,
as for as title,, present title is more apt than the previous one :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much. Ya I need to take that part off. I no longer am on the fence. I like the new titl.. read moreThank you so much. Ya I need to take that part off. I no longer am on the fence. I like the new title better too!
Oh hell yes. Bring on the pills. I take my fair share of them, otherwise I would be kaput. But back to your excellent poetry. I know first hand about the demons who reside inside our thoughts, my friend. I dealt with them, or rather they dealt with me for many, many years. I beat them though. By myself. Without the need for pills, except to be able to get my mind and my physical body ready for the challenge. On that grand day I am talking about I forgave everyone in my life who needed forgiveness, and then, and this was the hardest, I forgave myself. Forgiving myself was the key to making everything else work, and I had a lot to forgive. I no longer have my demons, they are gone. How is it possible to forgive oneself? Like this. The things I forgive myself of happened a long time ago. It dawned on me that I wasn't the same person now than I was then. So if I was not the same person I was able to forgive that other me. It may not work for anyone else, but I think it will. Sorry I took up so much time and space here.
Posted 10 Years Ago
0 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
No need to be sorry. Poetry is meant to spark emotion, memories and sensations. The fact that you co.. read moreNo need to be sorry. Poetry is meant to spark emotion, memories and sensations. The fact that you could resonate with this piece so much means I'm doing my job as a write :P lol
As dark and gothic as this write feels, the ending is actually a great moment of gratitude for the help meds (or whatever reaches the tormented). Well done.
I think I read the first version of this and loved it, but I can tell you tightened it up this time. Really fantastic work on this, I have always loved the premise. Beat those demons down, they don't deserve to torment you. Prove that you are stronger than their army!
my demons and angels wake me around 2-3 am .. this struggle is not experienced only by those who feel it more intensely .. i think we all have these same kinds of battles .. i have close friends who struggle daily ... thank the good Lord for all medications that can get us thru .. tho they present their own set of challenges ... i read the featured review and your reply but did not need to, to be able to see that your poem is personal .. the honesty and clarity in your poem adds power and emotion ..
E.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much for reading. I believe that all writers have a little bit of insanity within them,.. read moreThank you so much for reading. I believe that all writers have a little bit of insanity within them, which is what brings out the brilliance of creativity.
found this intriguing. Perhaps the second title works better here because its a bit shorter as far as what shows in the live feed.
Beyond that, this had a great surreal chill to it. Those things that haunt us inside our heads. That's real horror. Well penned.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you very much for your feedback. much appreciated
Trying to come back to writing! Curious to see who all is still here and what new adventures their are to join!
Creativity is my outlet, and I love learning and growing. Do not hesitate to be honest .. more..