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Even with the 'sweet reality' of the finale, this is incredibly chilling and intense...I take a lot of meds for a lot of different things, so this piece just hit me like a ton of bricks...wow...I could easily imagine this being acted out on a stage...
“Yet, here I am, everyday,
All set for your mind and I to vie.
If I’m not real,
If I don’t exist,
Then why not make me go?
That stanza made me gulp...amazing work...you definitely gripped me with this one :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and giving such positive feedback. I too, suffer fro.. read moreThank you very much for taking the time to read and giving such positive feedback. I too, suffer from a mental illness and am currently fighting for disability. One thing that helps keep me going is my writing and knowing that some of the most creative people in the world suffered as we do.
10 Years Ago
I know just how you feel...I was actually just finishing a piece that veers a bit into the same terr.. read moreI know just how you feel...I was actually just finishing a piece that veers a bit into the same territory...always a pleasure :)
My own demon chuckled when we read this.
"Is that how you feel?" It asks me.
The answer is yes for that's what good writing does. It's speaks to you and conveys emotions. It makes you feel for the protagonist and their woes.
In the case of this poem it gave me chills up until that final moment. "Sweet Reality" was just that. The break away from what we know is not real but to someone with that state of mind is it really a break to reality or a facade that masks the cold, hard, reality in favor of a beautiful lie?
This piece was a fun read and made me think. Well done.
A wild story told in the poetry. I like the description and the artwork. Create visions and wild place. I believe was sort of positive ending. The poem brought me in and you held me to the last words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Showing this demon as taunting was, in my opinion, a spot on portrayal. Our demons taunt us, no matter our protests. You captured that anguish perfectly
That's great.. Few words of each stanza encompass the horror and delusional state so well.. both sides of portrayal. Amazing ending of the real beginning.
This made me smile though.. it reminded me of my first work here.. Horrific reality :)
I loved the conversation between you and the demon. The first three stanzas are really good.
"Here she is again,
sitting on my bed.
She stares at me,
menacingly,
a twinkle in her eye.
“She can’t be real”.
I’m muttering to myself...
***
“Yet, here I am, everyday,
All set for your mind and I to vie.
If I’m not real,
If I don’t exist,
Then why not make me go?"
At some point in life every person will have to face his / her demons.. Demons that will drive us insane.. demons that will lead us astray.. demons born out of our own insecurities...
Trying to come back to writing! Curious to see who all is still here and what new adventures their are to join!
Creativity is my outlet, and I love learning and growing. Do not hesitate to be honest .. more..