Chapter Nineteen; Celebration of Life

It was a week until the first day of school. Ryan was very weak. He had been attached to a breathing machine that helped him breathe. Lucy had visited him several times throughout the month, but he was asleep, or wanted her to leave.

Ryan had lost all of his hair from the cancer and was completely bald. He had bruises everywhere from doctors bumping into him as they rushed down the hospital halls striving to keep him alive. His mother would stay in isolation to avoid bursts of anger from failure of doctors.

Ryan’s life was coming to an end. He never got back to the make a wish foundation because he had everything he ever wanted to see. His mother stayed in isolation once for more than 48 hours. Just to avoid crying at Ryan’s surgery.

She didn’t eat for a month, the thought of Ryan dying was just too heart-breaking for her. She directed her mind away from that thought and sewed pillows, skirts, anything to take up her time. One day her stomach was in greve pain, she fell to the ground and decided it was time for her to eat again.

She ate a small meal with Ryan, a bowl of soup and crackers. Ryan ate through a tube that went straight to his stomach. His mom could stand the sight and began to cry halfway through the meal.

Ryan unplugged the tube and used all of his strength to sit up in his bed. His mother walked over and began to embrace Ryan in her arms. The warmth of them together calmed her down and she stopped crying, “I love you,” whispered Ryan. “I love you to sweetie,” she replied. Ryan didn’t respond.

After a minute of silence his mom lifted him out of her arms and laid him on the bed, his eyes struggling to stay open. “See you in  heaven mommy,” he cried. His mother nodded and held his hand until the doctor came in a few minutes later. But it was too late.

Ryan’s eyes were closed and he stopped breathing. His mother was smiling in the corner of the room while a tear dripped down her face. “I’m so sorry ma’am, would you…” “No,” she interrupted. “I like to think of this moment as a celebration of life instead of mourning death.”

The doctor nodded and walked out. This helped Ryan’s mother through what she had experienced. She stayed in that hospital until Ryan would be taken to a funeral home, and cremated. Ryan’s mom chose cremation because she would put the ashes to places he liked so he would always be with them. The beach, the fair, the movies, the playground, all of which he enjoyed. She wouldn’t dare take them to places he didn’t like, the school, the garden, the lake. She planted a seed into a pot along with some of his ashes so he could live on forever. It was the last day before the first day of school, Ryan’s mom cried for a long time knowing he wouldn’t want to go. And she now realized how much he hated school, she thought back to all the times she punished, scolded, disciplined him.

She spent the day with family helping her cope through the situation. She kept telling herself, “Celebration of life,” but those words never stuck with her. Aunts, Uncles, Grandmas, Grandpas, all came to her side to help her with the bitter moments of life, Ryan’s father had left a week before because of divorce.

He still came to the house with his new girlfriend. Ryan’s mom let her come in but tried to avoid her at all costs. When it was late at night, most of the family left but some stayed to make sure she was ok.

She slept in her own room and insisted that they should stay at a hotel, the objected and slept on the living room couch. Doctors called all night long making the horror even more dramatic. The mother didn’t sleep that night and the family decided to take over the calls.

The family did as much as they could to help, but it didn’t go to well. The family treated her like a queen asking anything they could to keep her happy. “Would you like warm milk and cookies?” Aunt Mary asked. Ryan’s mom nodded and she came back with warm milk and store bought cookies. She was a bit disappointed that they were not homemade, but she ate them happily.