Small Deer

Written for a wild life contest!

Eyes of deepest black

Searching

Innocent

Distracted

            Skittish

and jumpy, 

Frail limbs entangled in the weeds, 

Shaking legs and twitching

            Ears

Bends clumsily down

To drink from the river-

side

Unaware in its bliss is

The small 

deer

Reviews

[bobc]

C...you seem to have a natural hand at this. I liked this very much. But there are a couple of things I want to ask you. Don't 'skittish' and 'jumpy' kind of mean the same thing here? Is the deer feeling 'bliss' or are you? (I just never feel prey feels bliss...people do.) Just asking. Well done and keep at it...bobc

[Ciara Di Salle]

Thanks! Skittish and jumpy are synonymous, I didn't really over think that bit! I appreciate you pointing it out, I suppose however it could be re purposed as an emphasis on the meaning of the words? Happy accident? Maybe not. Bliss was intentional. It was to represent how the deer is content in its self, and aloof in its own world. I was trying to depict a young deer, so I really wanted to capture how it does have evident fear, but also moments of whimsical pleasure (of sorts, I guess we can't know what the deer is really thinking ;) ) Thank you so much for the great review that's really helpful!

[BreannaAutumn]

Such a simple topic and yet you see through it so fully. I like how you made each word important, thanks for sharing:)

[Ciara Di Salle]

Thank you :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

people are often like this..especially after life runs them over enough, or shoots them in the heart.

nice allegory...

[Ciara Di Salle]

Thank you again :)

[Selene]

Very symbolic. I do not yet understand what is in the deer, but I know in some sense that it symbolizes something more significant.

[Ciara Di Salle]

Thanks for reviewing! I'll leave it up to interpretation

[Deepak Janardhan]

Very cute and describing the deer aptly. Nice work!

[Ciara Di Salle]

Thank you! I wasn't sure if I had captured it or not!

[Riding the Rainbow]

So sweet and really into the deer soul..well done..

[Ciara Di Salle]

thank you again! -Ciara