Everything You Want

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Everything you want

is everything you get

sometimes you just stand

sometimes you forget

 

Nothing in this world

doesn't come for free

sometimes just a word

could simply make you be

 

Whatever you are doing

you're doing it here

no matter what you've done

your life will dissappear

 

And yet you've got

another chance

Now you're hot

and you can dance

 

 

Reviews

[Katie.]

I love the third stanza! Wonderfully written. Relatable as well. :( But good job., a lot said without a lot written.

[Lizanne]

This is a wise poetical work. Flow and rhyme are really good. You say a lot in a short poem. How well you point out some of our human errors. If only as you point out, we would just enjoy life, dancing to the rythmn of our inner soul. Enjoyed this piece.

[Marina]

Just some grammatical/spelling corrections to start with, I hope you don't mind! just helping :)

Everything you want
is everything you get
sometimes you just stand
sometimes you forget

Nothing in this world (you wrote 'Mothing')
doesn't come for free
sometimes just a word (you wrote 'smoetimes')
could just make you be (I'd have said "simply" instead of "just", but it's just a suggestion, I actually don't like nitpicking other's choice of words, we write what we feel.)

Whatever you are doing
you're doing it here (you wrote 'you')
no matter what you've done
your life will dissappear (you wrote 'your')

And yet you've got (you wrote 'you')
another chance
Now you're hot
and you can dance



~I like this poem, sometimes we want things so bad we forget why we want them, if we let go and accept, well, life, then we can be free to dance.