God's Sacrifice

This is a poem about modern life teenage sacrifices done all around the world. Please support you children and don't let them to become prisoners of all negative emotions that they feel around you.

I am a prisoner of my emotions

and I can loose all the devotion

It is just a matter of time

Until I don't have even a dime

 

Forget about all material things

forget about all sad emotions

Just have a several drinks

but don't forget to drink with caution

 

Sometimes you think that you're dead

sometimes you feel that you're alive

Please believe in what I said

Please just live you own life

 

Your destiny awaits your soul

your whole body is shaking

Just don't loose your control

or your life would be taken

 

We now take you body for a sacrifice

you will is now bound and broken

Your soul was taken by a surprise

your body is now god's token

 

 

Reviews

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I don't really think that everyone is a sacrifice because not all people die for the same reason. I liked the message though. I want people to be able to live for long periods of time as well. I don't like seeing little children die either. Thanks for sharing. :)

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

Wow This is so Beautiful i went into
Tears when reading this I always say don't let your
Emotions Control you my son is 10yrs. old very smart
and wise Boy he get's up set easly but
i work on that with him so there is more love
in our home then Angery or Negitivity i am
Quit a very clam spirited soul i do get Angery
but i Hold my own so i stay calm so i am Quit Proud that
he's learning to be very stable and well rounded Child
Postive Emotions are always better and it's great to talk about em
He never hides any thing from us always comes to us for thing's He's growing up so fast But this Is Such a Amazing Piece BRAVO i love Amazing work Very Wise Words My friend God bless lily


I don't know why but i love Your last line So Beautiful

your body is now god's token



Have a Great Friday and have a Blessed
night

The first line is so true we must not allow our emotions to trape us and Define who we are.

[Voice11]

There is definitly a few typos where "you" should be "your" and so on. But I do feel what you are trying to say. It is that stage in everyone's life. good job!

[Wolfe Greytome]

A fine point to make. A well written piece. Overall, I have to say I like what I read here.

[Flo]

beautifully written, I like the flow in it, and the message.
-Flo

I really enjoyed reading this piece. It had a nice even flow.

"Just have a several drinks" The 'a' doesn't work in this line. But that's all I can see grammatically.
Well done. :)

[JENY]

those optimistic lines raised my spirit…..
great work indeed….