Dancing in the Snow

Drifting lazily to the ground,
The snowflakes call,
Telling me to join them,
Dance their lazy dance.

Running outside to the white terrain,
The dead field painted new,
I twirl and sing,
Dancing in the snow.

The beauty of the gray clouded day,
The bright stars showing themselves in the night,
The cardinals singing their lovely tunes,
In this pleasant little snow fall.

I must dance.

Reviews

[Bexfinch]

Wow lovely i would have writen somthing like . It reminds meof my tender
"childhood" years of playing in snow

[Alz Alz]

Not sure about this sentence "The beauty of the day gray clouded day", but otherwise this was very nice... makes me want to dance. :P

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Ms. Luna, My Dear Friend,

It is always a good pleasure to read material from you. And I thank you sincerely for the read request. Your words are ever kind. Though the topic of this poem is a little off-base, it is still well-written. You quite vividly describe the scene of snow in Virginia, which for a lot of writers is hard to do. I'd quote the entire third stanza because of how I love it. The poem has excellent flow and can work on structure. Note that in a poem, not every line has to start with a capital letter as capital letters distinguish something special. It can disrupt the flow of the poem too. "Drifting lazily to the ground, the snowfalkes call and tell me to join them dance their lazy dance." That's how I would reword it. Not every line has to end with a comma either. :P I don't know if the word "lazy" best describes the snowflakes falling. Rhyme is always a plus in a poem, not always needed. Remove redundant words to help summarize the poem. Like in the third stanza, second line "The bright stars show themselves at night" could help reduce length. Just little things here and there. All together, quite a well written poem. Kudos. 9/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

[Coyote Poetry]

The young see pleasure and fun in the snow. A excellent poem. Us old folks see work.
Coyote

[melissa]

very nice:) i wish i could dance in the snow lol