Another Sleepless Night

Heart pounding as I think of the day,
The faithful day that you left,
The day you stole my heart.
My mind races,
Eyes filling with all the tears held back,
Body yearning for your touch,
Ears yearning for your voice,
Soul yearning for your love.
The pain of the day you turned your back on me,
The day you chose her instead,
Echoes in my mind,
Taunts me.
I toss and turn in bed
And I know
It will be another sleepless night.

Reviews

[Moyo]

It seems that love poems are composed mostly of either being in love or yearning for someone who has left you. I can see you like writing about the latter, why not try something a bit more "lovely." Nonetheless, I still liked this one. ; )

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Ms. Luna,

You should really write poems with stanzas, grr! Thank you for the read request and thank you for sharing. Anyways, diving into the meat of this: the topic you've chose to wrote about is a good topic. Tossing and turning, insomnia, and the jest infest my thoughts nightly. But really I don't know what love is; well, I do know what love is. Because I give better advice than people who are in relationships. Heh. Flow can use some work in this. You do have some rhythm though. Rhyme is always nice to add... and use stanzas! They help! xD I mean, it's not a general rule when writing a poem, but personally, I like to read a poem with stanzas than a poem with no stanzas. Anyways, love 'ya, Luna. Thanks for the read request again, hope my comments helped. n_n 8.3/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

[Coyote Poetry]

A excellent poem. Took me into the poem with a string opening. Description and your story was very good. Remind me of a song this poem. A pleasure to be able to your poem. I like the ending.

Coyote

[Hopelessly Confused]

Great poem. You always do great writing.

[Alz Alz]

Awe, poems like these are written all the time... Cant say I haven't written one on this same topic before... Another sleepless night for me too... *sigh* ... great poem though luna :) it's wonderful how talented you are!

[LoveAndDreams]

This is an amazing poem.
It sounds great together and just goes
Lol :) x

[Rose]

Great poem. I am not quite sure I understand "The faithful day that you left" part, i tend to think of a faithful day as a promising day, but that is most likely my mindset!
Very nice work on describing though!
Once again, an inchanting poem.
It's always a pleasure to read your work!

[melissa]

very painful and sad.yet beautiful . i loved it! :)

[ZaZa]

This is sad yet beautiful. This is filled with need and pain put together. Sometimes when a loved one is gone and then you feel like you have no one to turn to and you're waiting for that moment for them to turn up. Very well written.