Chapter 5

 

            “I need to hide!” I burst into the midshipmen’s berth in a cloud of fear to find them sitting around the table, eating. Travis jumps up from the table, seeing the look of fear and going onto the defensive side.

            “What did that man do to you? What happened?” He demands, jumping up to stand next to me. The sound of boots stamping on the deck above us makes me tense even more.

            “Please, can you hide me!” I speak quietly enough so no-one walking above me can hear but everyone in the room can hear the desperation in my voice.

            “Follow me!” He says in the same volume and leads me into the unused room. He opens the large chest at the end of the bed and beckons for me to climb into it. “Get in. I will come and get you when they are gone. Then, you can tell me what happened.” I climb into the chest and duck down, allowing him to close the lid and walk out of the room. Right as he sits back down in his chair, the hatch to the berth is thrown open and the stairs begin to creek under the weight of many feet. The hatch slams back down to the deck and I hear the muffled conversation.

            “Where the hell is she?!” The captain screams.

            “She was with you and hasn’t returned yet.” Travis says, neutrally.

            “You know where she is, don’t you? Tell me!”

            “If I knew where she was and I know that you are looking for her, why would I tell you?” Travis says cockily even though he shouldn’t speak to his captain in such a way.

            “You know where she is and won’t tell me!” Skin makes contact with skin and a loud thud of something hard hitting the ground echoes throughout the room. Ragged breath slithers through the crack in the wood, breath that belongs to Travis.

            “She was heading to the rigging last time we saw her!” Joseph lies, trying to stop the beating. The sound of a boot hitting soft flesh and an OOF! of pain rings out through the room. The booted intruders stomp back up the steps and open the hatch, allowing them to exit. The hatch slams down and the sounds of boots stomping are on the deck above, retreating. I jump out of the chest and am by Travis’ side in a matter of moments. Curled up in a ball, pain is written on his face while blood runs out of his nose and the large cut that is on his right cheek.

            “Go get a bucket of water, washcloth, spirits of wine, a hooked needle, and  some line! I need to wash this blood off and get the cut stitched up! Hurry!” I exclaim, worry and fear urging me to take control. “Jacob, clear the table! Joshua, help me get Travis on the table! Put everything on the wine caddy! Someone, pour a glass half full with the spirits and get Travis to drink it!” The fear penetrates my voice as I try to hurry the preparations along, preparations that need to be done in order for me to stitch him up before any little bugger infects it.

            Finally, Travis is knocked out cold and everything is set up. The cloth is dipped in water and I work at cleaning his cheek off. The line is laced through the hooked needle and I slowly begin to lace up his cheek. After it is laced, it is washed with spirits of wine and he groans as the stinging substance absorbs itself into his skin.

 

 

            “He is waking up!” I say with relief. I’ve heard of cases where the people do not wake up. Tears form in my eyes and begin to leak out onto my cheeks.

            “I’m gonna kill ‘im. He is a dead man.” Travis says groggily, swears and curses joining the death threat.

            “Maden, please put him on the record as sick. He needs to rest. Tell Pratt to bring the food down with extra water. Make sure the food is hot. Joshua, help me take him into his berth.”

Author's Note

Just a note. The double enter in the middle of the passage is in fact on purpose. It’s supposed to show a time lapse. That’s the only thing I could think of to show it and I’m not good at working Microsoft word so I don’t know all the special stuff. I usually hand write so…

Reviews

[Theresa]

"sound of boots stamping on the deck" --I'm thinking you meant "stomping'
"room. he opens the large" He (The h should be capitalized)
"thrown open and the stairs between to creek under the weight of many feet" --I'm not sure this is right I think you left a word out.
"room. the booted intruders" --The (The T should be capitalized)
"extra water. make"---Make
Again I agree with Moyo a little more description will really develop the story and hold the reader in a little bit of suspense. Drag it out a bit. However I think you have a great story line going.

[Moyo]

Wow, this was unexpected. I really liked this chapter. The only advice for you is to make the fighting scene more action packed and descriptive.