Abuse

Bad memories brought back to life. These are memories of my first boyfriend.

Stabbing pain flies up my arm

As you block my circulation.

Why do I say no

When I know you can hurt me so badly?

Why don’t I tell an adult

And get help to become free of this pain?

 

Tears prick the sides of my eyes

As the bruise around my wrist begins to form.

I need to think up a lie

To hide the truth.

If anyone finds out,

He will hurt me more.

 

My friends are becoming suspicious

Because the lies no longer work.

I barely allow you to touch me

Because I’m afraid it’ll do more harm

Than it would do good.

 

You throw the paper at me

And I throw it back thinking it is all a game.

The girl behind me picks it up,

Unfolds it,

And calls you an a*****e.

I take it from her

As relief chills my body.

 

“We should see other people.”

The tears begin to form again

But they aren’t tears of pain.

Sweet relief.

I go to the next class

And release them.

 

My friends think I’m upset

Because you dumped me.

They say that

You asked someone else out

And they turned you down

But I don’t care.

I’m too happy to care.

 

I thought it was over,

But I was dead wrong.

After a short break you return,

Begging me for forgiveness,

Saying that you’ve changed.

I give in.

 

Nothing changed,

And after a week

You are bored with hurting me.

You claim you are leaving

But I know the truth.

Relief sweeps over me.

 

Years pass and I see

How you treat the other girls.

You are soft and gentle with them.

Why was it only me you hurt so badly?

Author's Note

I wrote this so that girls who have been in similar situations aren't afraid to come out and face their abuser. I may never talk to him, I actually avoid him as much as I can, but I know that I have admitted what has happened. I may never be the same because of it but this poem could possibly give other girls like me some hope to get out of a relationship like that or speak up about what happened in the past. Thank you everyone for your kind reviews and support!

Reviews

[short&curvy]

I was there too and I finish the poem with tears! Beautiful

[twilight-dreamer-24/7]

that was amazing. I have been through it also. I used to cry myself to sleep becuase of the abusive guyI was with. thank u for the poem. it touched my heart.

[ashley]

As someone who knows what it's like firsthand, let me say you've captured the emotion perfectly. Some of it was a little choppy, the flow wasn't perfect, but that's why it's so good. The abuse is never smooth, it's always unexpected, random and you never know what's coming. This poem is like that, but I, again, think that's why this works.
Very good. 10/10

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Ms. Luna, (Or The Inevitable Other L- Name)

Thank you for the sending me a read request. This is quite a long lengthy read but it is worth the way through it. The main key in this poem is the topic. If anything, work on your flow. Flow is a key element in any poem as it is what makes the reader enjoy the poem more. It is also that which helps create inspiration. The Author's Note is lengthy too but completes the poem in my opinion. "Tears prick the sides of my eyes as the bruise around my wrist begins to form. I need to think up a lie to hide the truth. If anyone finds out, he will hurt me more" is my favorite part of this. You write really brilliantly, but the flow does hinder the eye a bit. Summarize if you can, lengthy posts can sometimes be repulsive to the eye of the reader. I did enjoy this poem fairly well, Luna. Thank you for sharing. Kudos. 9.5/10.

Sincerely,
S. W. Scaggs

[.]

a difficult read...in it's journalistic type presentation, I can handle the clinical nature of this...it does not need poetic phrasing, clever innuendos or attention to details...if I had to write this story, I could not imagine another or better way to rid myself of it..."I’m too happy to care."...a devastating line

bless you

[VioletRose]

O my i cried,
Over powering poem,
Good luck in my contest

[Tara♥Undefined&h..]

wow that was so touching and deep ur an amazing writer Im really srry if this is something u really went through bt this poem was at least something that came out of it

[there is no more from m..]

i liked this poem it was verry deep and filled with emotion well done

[Electric Fascination]

That was really.. wow. I'm so sorry if this happened to you..
You are an amazing writer/poet/whatever you want to call it!

[Mary]

wow i really liked it, it makes you think and see that things like that really happen. If this really happened to you i am so sorry. The only good thing that can come out of an experience like that is a poem like this.