Haiku 2

I’ll send you a kiss of ashes

Taken from the words that burnt

Writing over you

Author's Note

your comments are appreciated :)

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

I enjoyed this a lot, the contradiction between kiss and ashes and the use of the verb burnt with the gerund writing.It might be worth considering putting taken and writing in the lower case, the upper case implies a new phrase which slows down the tempo a bit, but it`s up to you ! Good work.

[M Garcia]

Great work. A little better with the Haiku. :)

[Jazmen]

The first line is too long. "I'll send you an ashy kiss", for example, would match up. The idea is intriguing. Nice work.

Edit: Then again, I don't write haikus, so what do I know? I just thought it was always 7-5-7?

[Ruth]

Ohhhh nice! Really like this :) It goes full circle and teases out the poignancy :) Great piece xoxo

[Rene Velez]

love it!

[reflectingus]

This is exactly how I love haikus to be. So much conveyed through so little words, I found myself reading and re-reading to ensure I properly understood the deepness there. This is beautiful! It conveys a great feeling of powerful love, taken to a level of hardship, with words that 'burnt', rather powerful. Amazing piece.

[joshua deathdealer]

I like the feel here. Awesome work.

[JanieB]

The 1st 2 lines are sooo beautifully written. Love it. Not a haiku as I know it, nevertheless, excellent. Good job!

[Richard Anthony Goulart]

As you see in my writing I am a fan of short to the point writings that can hit everyone in some way and this was beautiful in that entirety

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Pleasurable and unique!