Still Here

You were supposed to be my protector

You were supposed to keep me safe

You were supposed to always love me

You were supposed to care about me

 

Why did you hurt me like that then

How come you didn’t use someone else

What did I do to deserve this

How did you become the one I needed protecting from

 

I was only a little girl back then

I was innocent and scared

I didn’t know what to do or how to react

Pain became a part of my  daily life

 

I didn’t know what you were really doing

My mind only knew that daddy was hurting me

You told me to keep it between you and me

Each time you were done you always say love you

 

I’d lay still on my bed tears falling quietly

The pain made it impossible to sleep at night

Blood feel from my body after each time

Nightmares constantly filled my dreams

 

I didn’t have anywhere to hide from you

If I pulled away you’d hit me

Mommy and you started to fight all the time

I became your personal tool

 

Some days you wouldn’t let me eat for resisting

Mommy didn’t care she was too busy

Eventually you left and I thought I was free

But I had to visit you on weekends

 

You scared me too much to tell her no

Tears started falling every time I was alone

You got really mean and rougher

You made sure I knew you didn’t love me

 

The pain reached points to where I couldn’t move

Bruises covered my body while blood fell from it

There was no way to escape this hell

Each day I’d put on a faker smile

 

I’d spend hours trying to feel clean again

Nothing worked I only felt very dirty

You almost got what you wanted

Why were you doing this to me

 

I was basically dead and didn’t care at points

People found out but nothing happened to you

But you weren’t going to win this war

Someone saved me and became my protector

 

I have won the war for the most part

I am here living no thanks to you

But I’ve become who I am ‘cause of you

And I am still here no thanks to you

Reviews

[dovetailer]

We've talked about this before... it is a tragedy when those that supposed to love us and protect do the exact opposite...the proverbial fox in the hen house...
in my mind, the severest punishment we can think of is too good for them...
but that doesn't help the disillusioned, damaged, charges they leave in their wake...it's hard enough to forget, yet alone forgive...you have to move past it to live...but I realize that must seem impossible at times...
one thing we learn as we live is "what goes around comes around" and you will have an opportunity to turn the tables..and when that happens I hope you will forgive and stop the vicious cycle of retribution in its tracks.
Very moving piece...good to let all that anger out where it can dissipate...

[Crusaderscross]

Very Touching and very very brave poem to wrote and let it all out there. You are a model for everyone who lives this. No one should live this. Hope you are doing well. Your poem is really well written. Liked it even though the subject matter is quite disturbing. Bravo

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a very emotional and extremely difficult issue to write about. It doesn't matter how good the poem is only that it was written. Hopefully someone else going through the same trauma will come across it and it will help them in some way if not I hope it has helped getting the words out. Before I even read that this poem was written from memories of an abusive childhood I knew it wasn't a fictional piece of work for there are too many emotions put into it. The pain in this poem is real and deep. I hope you have gotten the help you need to over come this traumatic and extremely vile thing that was done to you. I wish you peace and love.

[Immortal1967]

wow...that is powerful, sad and painful....great job writing it...and you are very brave to share it...

[~Lizzy♬]

I love the description in this poem. It's a very sad picture in my eyes but, I am praying also that this is fiction. I love the way you used the imagery and details in this poem. Thanks for sharing :)

[the-One-with-the-Darkne..]

I really like this. I can see this in my mind.. a very disturbing picture.. but u have amazing imagery I don't nkow where your ideas come from .. but i pray this is fiction.

[KaySea]

very nice. love the font

[Sweets]

Beautiful poem =)

[deeps]

Wow this has alot of pure emotion in it. Very well written and expressed.

[Coyote Poetry]

To overcome this life would be very difficult. Anyone who hurt or abuse children need to be punish. A powerful and sad poem. I could feel the hurt and suffering in the words. A excellent poem. Told a terrible story of abuse.
Coyote