Pain

Pain

A Poem by Sports Girl

Every tick of the clock the pain increases

It rips apart and breaks down my heart

It’s an empty hole without you here

It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before

 

I can’t stop the pain or hold it back anymore

The tears burst out and run down my checks

They fall like rain drops in a never ending storm

They race down my nose and drop off my chin

 

I lay wrapped up in a ball while the rain falls

I lay there thinking about you over and over

Pictures of you run through my mind

I see all the pain and hurt in your face

 

I can feel the pain and hurt in your heart

It’s the same pain that I have in mine

I feel you breaking down and falling apart

You want me there; you need me there

 

I can feel your heart beating every second of everyday

It matches the beat of my heart

As your heart beats on the pain multiplies

I can hear it in your voice after every word you speak

 

The connection between us is stronger than most

When we talk there is no way to cover up the pain

Our voices break as the emptiness grows wider

 

I hear you crying on the other end of the line

I want more than anything to whip away the water

The wait hurts so badly

But losing you would hurt the most

 

The love that flows between us is unbreakable

This love has kept us alive for so long

It saved us from ourselves and others

 

When that one day comes I will be with you forever

When that one day comes the never ending storm will end

 

When it comes I will be safe in your arms

I will be happy with you always and forever

When that day comes it will be the beginning of our life

And when that day comes nothing can pull us apart

© 2010 Sports Girl


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Never.... forever springs to mind.

When
I will
The wait
So long

On and on...

Posted 13 Years Ago


Seems to me that you are partial to keeping it simple and it helps to convey the sentiments in your writing across to the reader.
Once again the story has a beginning and an end, but after reading the title I expected more about the "tears" themselves and how the girl is dealing with them. Many stanzas were more about missing him (and it's understandable how that can produce tears), but the sadness which would provoke tears was absent, in my opinion.

In the 3rd stanza you say ho9w "I lay there thinking about you over and over" but then you mention how "I see all the pain and hurt in your face". I think you need to make it clear as to whether you are thinking about him of "seeing his face"

Well done.

Posted 14 Years Ago


I really enjoy reading your poetry. I hope everything turns out to be alright.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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3 Reviews
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Added on August 1, 2010
Last Updated on December 28, 2010

Author

Sports Girl
Sports Girl

Hampton, NH



About
Well the last time I came on here was 3 years ago and I was 16. Now I'm 20 and at lot has changed, but a lot also hasn't changed at all. I'm now in college with a major for businesses administration w.. more..

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