I sit here thinking about what to do next
The rain drops fall hitting the skylight
The start to slip down my face
As the rain picks up the tears fall faster
My mind is taking off in all different directions
Jumping from the present to the past and back
The most painful memories of all come rushing in
Like water flooding over parts of the earth
Every single part of my body hurts
My heart is starting to crumble into millions of pieces
There is nothing to hold it together anymore
It’s fighting a war that apparently can’t be won
I get up and throw on a sweat shirt, socks, and sneakers
I grab my I-pod, put in the ear phones, and press play
No one is home; I race down the stairs and out the door
I leave the door wide open and start to run
The tears are still falling down from my eyes
As I run further the rain starts pouring harder
No one in the town is around and I’m alone again
Pushing myself harder with every second that passes
The beach wall is in my sight: so closer yet so far away
The more I want to reach the wall the further it seems to move
It’s like the dreams that feel impossible to reach
Or the wishes that even a fairy godmother couldn’t make come
true
My escape is finally in my reach
I run down the stairs and to the rocks
I sit down and stare out at the stormy waters
Its waves crash on the beach pounding the sand
Why did my dad let me go, leave me and not want me
I was the girl who would never be daddy’s little girl
The daddy who will never see her grow and get older
The girl who’s family pretends she’s invisible
The girl who wouldn’t have someone to protect her
The scared little girl that has no one to love her
The quiet little girl afraid to spread her wings
The shy sweet girl no one will never get to know
All the tears I had held in forever dropped off my chin
I’m completely soaked from head to toe
The heart inside me has finally become a hole
The only thing left to me is all the pain and memories
Thinking about you hurts me more now than ever
How did I lose you, how could you have let me go
You’re not here anymore and I still can’t let you go
Everything reminds me of you no matter what I do
I jump of the rocks and onto the sand
The wide open ocean calling my name, drawing me in
I run straight into the ocean stopping for nothing
Tons of waves crash over me holding my down
Once I’m free I swim further and further into the ocean
My mind slows down and stops thinking completely
My body stops pounding and hurting all together
This is my escape and my final freedom