Not So Tall Now

our height is not just physical

I stand tall at 5 foot 5 inches short.
Weighed down by the grief,
The struggling torment of loss.
The guilt of having helped,
Aided so inadequately.

I stand tall at 5 foot 0 inches short.
Stunted by the childless womb
That I coldly and selfishly bare.
The sin of youthful carelessness
Stripping my claim of having mothered.

I stand at 4 foot 7 inches short, only.
Shrunk by the burning depression
That I can't seem to kick.
My only employment today
Is self-hatred and tears.

I rest at 4 foot 2 inches short, roughly.
Dragged down by hatred,
The ostracization of my true self.
Unaccounted for in my mistakes,
Not responsible for my choices.

I stand, cowering at 1 foot.
Not so tall now.
Life, I screwed up,
Beat myself down.

Reviews

[alanwgraham]

I find this a bit tough to interpret but I'm not good at this. I think as you move from the concrete to the more abstract the reader must make it more his own. Some of your images are very powerful as well as the repeated first line with its sense of movement in time. Life screwed up and childless womb are very sad images. Your second last verse middle line has a couple of slips.
It's very good.
Regards, alan

[Alucard6336]

Sounds like you need a friend! You can be mine :)

If my spirit had a height it would tower through the sky.

Why would anyone be insensitive to you? You seem like a good soul.

[Armistead Lindsey]

It's not insensitivity toward myself that is my concern, mainly towards the topics and issues covered within my writing