Take care

A revenge song

Baibe,
you were all and all that I had.
Craize, i was
I felt the whole world in my hand.
Angel,
you uplifted my world out of earth.
Faker,
then I found that you cheated girl.
First day
you held me tight.
For a month
it was alright.
But you had plans with other guys.
Your eyes
on their status high.
I was blind in glit of view.
Round curls,
you got me hypnotised.
I was fool,
I fell in love.
Girl, why did you cheat me?
 why ???

Chorus. ....
I gave you my all, my soul,
my heart and everything that I own.
You ripped apart,
tore my heart in pieces.
Girl, you knocked me down.
Now I am feeling heartless chest,
my mind depressed.
I tighten my fist, so take a revenge.
Now,
it's time when i gave you back
with all I had.
So, take care. .......

Author's Note

Inspired by break up songs from Justin timberlake.

Reviews

[andrew mitchell]

a few typos but a good write.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

I think your ending could be stronger...because you start of and go through this with strong emotions, then you lead in with "Now it's time to give you back
with all I had.' to your ending sentence. I think this commands more.

Starting and carrying on there is strong feelings present and views on a relationship gone bad.

[Amulya Bhardwaj]

damn!! deep...
full of emotion...
wonderful....

[Coyote Poetry]

Good flow of words. Revenge is never sweet. Just make you the same as the other person. I could feel the song in the words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[success]

i like the inspiration behind this poem

[armin]

Oh timberlake, I am a big follower of his R&B music. Thanks for dropping by.

[Lavender Soya]

Felt the emotions. Your words spoke from the core. :-) Nice work!

[armin]

Thankyou.. ..

[Roshan Nair]

Nice work armin. The inspiration is clear and the product is slick. Great job. Cheers

[armin]

Cheers my friend thankyou for your lovely visit.

[~]

A sad story definitely Spidey - Hey I cannot keep up with your names anymore ;)

[armin]

No problem, you can call me armin. Thankyou.

[MomzillaNC]

This lyric reads almost like a chain of text messages -- you know the kind, the kind we wish we'd been too cool to send and wish we could unsend. In the end, the cheater isn't worth it. The best answer is to move on and live well. If they ever come to again and want to act out a play of remorse at you, ask them, "Whatever made you think you were ever important enough to hurt me?"

[armin]

Thankyou people have their own perspectives to judge the work, no problem the song sounded like a message to you. :)

[MomzillaNC]

yw :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Emotional turmoil is a weapon in your wording, well done.

[armin]

Thankyou Thomas, I appreciate that.