I love her

I love her

A Poem by armin
"

A love poem.

"


When i look above,
i see sky holding the stars.
For all,
moon seems miles away,
much distant and far.
But my moon is standing,
beside me
Natural, beautiful, my fantasy.

O ye O ye
she is my pretty queen
my heartbreaker, heartmaker
everything she is.
Fighter, lover, medicine, my healer
sparkler, sweeter, thriller and I feel

I love her,
she is in my beautiful memories.
Stuck in my heart,
written in the stars
her name with me.

© 2015 armin


Author's Note

armin
Thanks for read and review.

My Review

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Featured Review

I have some suggestions for you to improve on your grammar in this piece, but it's up to you to pay heed or not. I only wish to help :).

First stanza, line one and line two:
When I "look" above,
"I see" sky holding the stars

First stanza, line seven:
Beside me (omit "of")

Stanza two, line four:
Everything "she is"

Stanza two, line five and six:
"My" fighter, lover, medicine, "healer,"
sparkler, sweeter, thriller"," and I feel

Otherwise, no other suggestions I can come up with. It is a very sweet ode to one's love. A lovely serenade to sing (it sounds like one anyways!).


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

armin

9 Years Ago

Thankyou Nadia ,I'll definitely consider your suggestions.



Reviews

A beautiful and hopeful poem for love.
"I love her,
she is in my beautiful memories.
Stuck in my heart,
written in the stars
her name with me. "
I like the above lines. They are perfect. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


armin

9 Years Ago

Thanks John, thank you so so much.
Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

You are welcome.
Such a heartfelt beautiful poem of love. The honest words flow so wonderfully, it would be loved by everyone. From the beginning, I was drawn to continue with the poem at: When I see above sky holding the stars. For all moon seems miles away, so distant and far but my moon is standing beside of me (WOW!!!) Natural, beautiful, my fantasy. It is so beautiful Armin. I simply like the way you right. Being a mother, or the person I am, love poetry that is filled with too much stuff (all I'll say, I cannot read); this is how a love poem should be written; well the kind I like anyway. You continue on and I love the other stanzas too. Great writing. Bravo.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Confuser

9 Years Ago

I just wrote a huge response, if you don't get it, please email me. Wow. I posted it.????
armin

9 Years Ago

I have sent you a mail . Thanks.
Confuser

9 Years Ago

Got it and thank you for your kind words.
lovely romantic poem for your lover, great writing Armin :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


armin

9 Years Ago

Thanks, Richard for your kind words.
This is lovely Armin - really lovely - a pleasure to read - thank you for the RR :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


armin

9 Years Ago

Anto, thanks man for your kind words.
O ye O ye
she is my pretty queen
my heart breaker, heart maker
everything is she.

^ My favorite part

This is beautiful Armin! "D



Posted 9 Years Ago


armin

9 Years Ago

You are kind suk, thanks for your visit.
The Black Warrior

9 Years Ago

You're welcome and it is my pleasure :D
a beautiful poem of love,great job

Posted 9 Years Ago


armin

9 Years Ago

Thanks ron, I appreciate that.
Tank you Armin it's Wonder full.

Posted 9 Years Ago


armin

9 Years Ago

Thanks you Dakir, but check spellings man, I am armin not armure.
This is a very romantic piece. My heartbreaker, heartmaker - my favorite line :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


armin

9 Years Ago

Thanks Ana B.
aww that was very sweet work, and the way you expressed your love for her, is just so beautiful and innocent, may you always be togther .
keep that coming

Posted 9 Years Ago


armin

9 Years Ago

we are not together, try remember I told her name to you in my first review I posted at your page.
really like "my moon is standing beside me"
but i especially like the image of the "sky holding the moon"

very romantic expression here.

Posted 9 Years Ago


armin

9 Years Ago

Thanks Jacob.

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40 Reviews
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Added on January 3, 2015
Last Updated on December 29, 2015
Tags: moon, stars, beautiful, her, she

Author

armin
armin

New Delhi, Delhi, India



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