I love her

A love poem.

When i look above,
i see sky holding the stars.
For all,
moon seems miles away,
much distant and far.
But my moon is standing,
beside me
Natural, beautiful, my fantasy.

O ye O ye
she is my pretty queen
my heartbreaker, heartmaker
everything she is.
Fighter, lover, medicine, my healer
sparkler, sweeter, thriller and I feel

I love her,
she is in my beautiful memories.
Stuck in my heart,
written in the stars
her name with me.

Author's Note

Thanks for read and review.

Reviews

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

I have some suggestions for you to improve on your grammar in this piece, but it's up to you to pay heed or not. I only wish to help :).

First stanza, line one and line two:
When I "look" above,
"I see" sky holding the stars

First stanza, line seven:
Beside me (omit "of")

Stanza two, line four:
Everything "she is"

Stanza two, line five and six:
"My" fighter, lover, medicine, "healer,"
sparkler, sweeter, thriller"," and I feel

Otherwise, no other suggestions I can come up with. It is a very sweet ode to one's love. A lovely serenade to sing (it sounds like one anyways!).

[armin]

Thankyou Nadia ,I'll definitely consider your suggestions.

[youngkingkwan]

It's nice. This could be a masterpiece if you refine it a little more. :)

[Tania]

"I love her,
she is in my beautiful memories.
Stuck in my heart,
written in the stars
her name with me. "
beautiful.........

[MomzillaNC]

A very moving tribute.

[Terrence Chang]

It a cool poem Armin. Keep posting and keep up the good work

[Madison Rose]

I like this one! I love that she heals, she is powerful. She shines her light on your path, like the moon. She is beautiful, and exciting. This is a great poem Armin! If I could play with this poem, I would write:

sparkler, sweeter, thriller and I feel her

Do you like this idea?

[armin]

Absolutely Madison, i liked it. Thankyou for your kind words i appreciate that.

[Abilash Uttama]

beautiful poem. liked it :)

[Lavender Soya]

A love that's very well penned. Great job!

[nazia]

Looks like you are much in love with this person.. Awesome :)