Ken the Eagle

A sort of joke that was inspired from a advert in a gaming magazine.

                Cable Knight was heading toward the mess hall on the battleship Black Nirvana when he saw the new posters for the gladiatorial event that night. He was a minor officer in the ranks and had only one responsibility: make sure his six cadets didn’t kill themselves during training. Of course, Cable was only sixteen and mothering over six twelve-year-old boys was quite the chore, but at least it was an entertaining one.

                As a cadet-trainer, Cable wore a steel fire badge on his right shoulder above the Black Nirvana’s stripped insignia. His charcoal gray uniform was tailored to size and his leather boots had been recently polished. He had to set an example for his little cadets and so his appearance was always impeccable. He shaved daily (though there wasn’t much beard to begin with) and his badge was blindingly shiny.

                His cadets were in aerial combat training while Cable took his break. He made for the nearest glass elevator, pressed the button for level five and squished on the platform with twelve other officers. Cable took off his military beret and held it close to his chest as the elevator plummeted down the shaft. The glass doors opened and Cable weaseled his way out and headed toward the mess hall, his stomach growling like a decrepit monster from an old and terribly made movie.

                At the opposite end of the corridor each white plastic double door to the mess hall was taped over with large handmade posters. Both signs had a roughly painted gladiator on them, the muscled beasts holding large plasma rifles and nun chucks. Below them fat, red letters said: Two Sides. One Battle. All Kinds of Awesome! and in small letters at the bottom: Experience the craziness by dressing as your favorite space-comic character!

                Cable read the poster a few times, officers rushing around him as they entered the mess hall. He had never seen the advert before. Cable glanced at his touch-screen interface that was clasped about his right forearm. His cadets wouldn’t get out of aerial combat training until 14:00. Cable had forty-five minutes to prepare his costume.

* * *

                When he arrived at the locker bay at 19:00, Cable was worried no other contestants would wear any comic costume, but to his pleasant surprise everyone in the bay was wearing some sort of brightly colored outfit. There was Donnie Chicken, the Space Revenge and a few classics from over a century ago, like Superman and Bouncing Boy.

                Cable was dressed as Ken the Eagle, one of the five superheroes from Science Ninja Team Gatchaman, a series from 1972. He had blue thigh-high leather boots and a white body suit with a red arrow-like eagle emblem on the chest. His jagged cape was white on top and red below and it rustled importantly about his legs. On his head was a helmet with large eagle eyes on either side.

                “Nice costume,” said Superman. “Who are you supposed to be?”

                “Ken the Eagle,” Cable replied. He flexed his fingers. The gloves were too snug.

                “That’s cool. Is that a classic?” Superman asked.

                Cable nodded. The bell rang and the superheroes and comic characters marched out into the arena. Cable was grateful for his large cape, it hid his incessant shaking. There were twenty other contestants, all bedecked in capes and shiny boots. Some contestants had their faces hidden by wraps or pieces of headgear, but Cable’s eagle helmet quite clearly revealed his face. His cheeks were burning with anticipation.
                The arena was oval and had metal risers stepping sixty feet into the air.  On the opposite wall was a large viewing box where the Black Nirvana’s captain, first-mate and other bridge officers sat, gazing down at the oval arena with a god-like presence. The stands were crammed with officers and cadets, even the cooks had come and were sitting in the stairwells. They were shouting, cheering, so loudly that Cable grimaced, trying to block the noise. It was exhilarating and deafening. Cable smiled, but his hands were still shaking.
                The contestants stood along the curved wall as the captain of the battleship divided them into two teams. Cable was on Blue Team, along with Superman, Donnie Chicken and seven others. They had two plasma rifles, a plastic pitchfork, a few laser pistols and Cable’s boomerang. Red Team had Space Revenge, who glared from across the arena floor like a seething swamp-crocodile, and Bouncing Boy, who was so wide he took up the spot of at least three men.
                 Donnie Chicken clapped Cable on his shoulder. Donnie wore a yellow jacket and a yellow cap complete with a red, meaty comb flopping away at the top. “Gonna be a good one, eh?” Donnie Chicken said, giving a broad smile. “They say the reward for the winning team is a party at our next land dock and a day off work! Blue Team’s gotta win!”
                 “Aye, yeah,” Cable said nervously, raising a gloved fist in reply. Cable looked up and saw six boys sitting on the front row each with a letter that eventually said, “GO KEN!” His smallest cadet sat at the end of the row, holding a sign with an exclamation mark. Cable smiled and waved at his cadets.

                The captain came on the speakerphone and shouted, “Let the battle BEGIN!”

                An air horn was sounded and the teams raced towards each other. The Space Revenge began shooting at Blue Team with his plasma rifle, but Donnie Chicken managed to hit him from behind. It was a mad free-for-all and Cable found himself rushing forward with the excitement, his white cape tailing behind him.

                A supremely round, blue suited boy charged him but Cable dodged and hit the Red across the head with his boomerang. There were people fighting everywhere, Superman was wrestling now with Wario and the Space Revenge was being pinned to the wall by Donnie Chicken. With every Red Team member down, Blue Team won points. Cable glanced at the scoreboard. Blue: 5, Red: 3.

                Cable grinned and punched a robot-looking person in the face. When the robot fell to the ground, stunned, the scoreboard read, Blue: 6. But Cable was unable to enjoy his success because in front of him was none other than Batman, complete with utility belt.

                Batman’s dark cape swirled about his legs as he glared down at Cable. Batman swung at Cable, who dodged and rammed his shoulder into Batman’s ribcage. Batman grimaced, centered his weight on his opposite leg and shoved Cable onto the floor.

                Cable swung his legs around Batman’s neck, but Batman managed to stop him and throw him across the room. Cable somersaulted to a halt and jumped to his feet. He glanced at the scoreboard. Blue: 9, Red: 9. Cable and Batman were the last contenders.

                They circled about, their capes floating about them, their faces at least a foot away from each other. Batman swung, Cable dodged and landed a slap across Batman’s face. Taken aback, Batman hesitated and Cable took his chance. He grabbed Batman by the shoulders and kneed him into the chest, shocking his black clad opponent. Cable punched him in the face and he sunk to the floor, stunned.

                The arena went wild and Blue Team crowded Cable, throwing him into the air. “We won! We won!” Superman shouted, his lip bleeding. “Great job, Ken!”

                Donnie Chicken patted Cable on the back. “Way to go, Ken the Eagle. Now we get to party! Party! Party! Party!” Donnie jumped up and down as if he had won the battle by himself, his chicken suit flopping about.

                Cable grinned stupidly, his heart pounding and mind whirling. He had never done anything like this, but it was thrilling. Blue Team had won.

Author's Note

I have a question: do you think the ending is...uh, lame? I'm having some serious conflicts with it.