Blessings and Curses

Blessings and Curses

“It isn’t gonna work out.” Mr. Rogers said to me. I was in my office, papers scattered as I heard the news. “You’re fired.”

“Sir. Please. I’ll edit the last report! This report is almost done. Please give me another chance!” I pleaded. “I have bills to pay! What will my wife say to me?”

“It is not my problem. Get out!” Rogers said to me. “Get another job, one that doesn’t require tediousness. Out.”

I packed up my briefcase, leaving the office. I stepped outside in the pouring rain, watching great puddles splash up to me, drenching my blazer. My phone buzzed in my wet pocket, I looked down and beheld the face of my wife, depressed as she was, knowing we are behind on our bills. I turn it off, unable to face my wife in my shame and depression.

I walk towards the sidewalk to the train station. I see before me, rats of the sewers, and a man. His beard was rustic, and his eyes hardened with many years of war. He was an older man, with silver hair, and he stared me down. I looked at him as I reached my wallet.

“Do you care to help someone in need?” the man said to me.

“I am sorry. I can’t.” I said rather hastily before going down the train, feeling drenched, the heavy fabric of my clothing hugging me tightly. I stepped away from the stairs, and onto the train.

I sat down in the middle seat. Looking straight ahead with empty eyes, I see the blurry lights of the subway passing by. Passing by slowly despite the train’s tremendous speed. I saw a man in the corner, similar to the man I saw on the other subway. His eyes were not hard but soft, soft with compassion.

His eyes met mine, and he shifted on the other side of the chain, sitting across from me. “Seems like you had a rough day at the office.” the seemingly homeless man said to me.

“Unfortunately so sir.” He replied. “I was fired.”

“Always a terrible way to end your night.” the man replied. “What happened?”

“Never got my reports out fast enough, perhaps I should step down from the corporate world.” I answered.

“Ah, the corporate job. Always fast to use you, and always first to get rid of you. It is cut throat. It always has been, always will be.” the man said. “Then what will be the next step for you?”

“I don’t know. I’m behind on bills, my marriage isn’t great. I have a child coming on the way, and I can’t do this anymore.” I buried my hands in my face. “What do I tell my wife?” I sobbed. “That we have to move on the streets? That my job is a dead end one, and we can’t afford rent, bills, or even support the child I am going to have?”

“You must do what is right.” the man said, letting out a large sigh for all to hear. “You and I, are not so different. Twenty years ago, the things that are happening to you, happened to me. I lost everything. I had a job, struggled to pay my bills, and when I got fired, it went downhill from there. Do you know what I did?”

“What?” I asked of him.

“I didn’t tell my wife. I didn’t tell my children, didn’t ask my brother for help, my sister, not even my parents.” he wept with me. “Do you know why, I didn’t ask for help? Do you know why I didn’t tell my wife? Would you like to know?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t tell my wife, for the failure I have become. I didn’t tell my family or ask for their help, because I believed I could do it all by myself.” he answered. “Never have I been so wrong, and I suffered my entire life for it. If I asked my brother, perhaps he would have sent enough money, or supported me until I got another job. If I told my wife, she wouldn’t have left me, with my children that I have never seen since that day. If I told my parents, perhaps they would have let my family bunk in, until I got a job; one more stable.”

“But there would be no real way to tell if those outcomes would have been true, had you told your wife, brother, sister, and parents. These are only assumptions, or mere predictions of what could have been.” I replied in disbelief.

“Yes, but there was that small sliver of chance.” He said to me. “Perhaps the smallest sliver would have placed me, in a much better place, than homelessness, working odd jobs for food, and only food.”

I heard him speak, and every ounce or words he spoke rang true through his voice. I debated about turning my phone on, and texting my wife about what happened. Should I? Shouldn’t I? This feeling of shame was greatly being combated by hope. Hope had come bearing a club, hammering away the shield of Shame! Bash it Hope! Bash it all to bits I Pray!

“If you have family, boy, do not make the same mistake I did. I regret it every day before I lay myself asleep, a disregarded trash lid as my pillow, and soiled newspaper, as my blanket.” He said to me.

The train stopped. I stood up and went to the exit of the subway car, and turned to him, “Thank you sir for your wisdom. Come here would you please, I wish to repay the kindness you have shone me.” The homeless man came to me, I pulled out my wallet, leaning against the doorway, to prevent the doors from closing. I flipped my wallet out, and pulled out Grant. It was the only thing in my wallet worth having, and it was all I had left. My savings were now nothing. I gave it to the man.

“Are you sure you want me to have this? This is generous of a gift, and I am pleased to receive it, but I want to know, that you will not grow to need it more than I. Do you need this?” he asked me.

“It is all I have left, besides my wife, and child on the way. I will manage, I will listen, and call my brother on State street.” I answered him. “Thank you. It is the least I could do.” I stepped out of the subway car, and the door closed. I waved good bye to the man, he seemed overjoyed, that he knew he could invest it, could make himself so much more than the homeless man he was, for he was not just a mere homeless man to me. He was a messenger, to tell me what I needed to do, to save my future!

I stepped outside of the station, and I could see the ray of the moon shine down on me. The rain stopped, and I took out my phone and turned it on. It took a moment as I walked further down the street, which was covered in puddles, the tears of the Heaven stopped. I called my wife.

“Where have you been, I have been worried sick!” My wife said to me.

“I have been on the train, talking with someone much like me. I have something to tell you. Will you listen?” I said to her as I continued walking down the road as it turned from busy street, to a steady road, with dirt on its side, mud to be exact.

“Yes dear?” she said to me, in her soft and compassionate voice as I came across the pathway leading to our house lit with tiki lamps, their roaring fire defied the rains.

“I just got fired.” I was hesitant at first when I spoke it, but then, I felt as if fifty pounds and counting were being lifted upon my chest! It was an amazing feeling to admit defeat, but it was not defeat, it was a victory!

There was some silence on the phone, as I reached the doorway. She hung up, and my heart sank. I walked to the steps, and those moments felt like hours to me, as I dreaded the fate that awaited me behind those doors. Would it lead me to the way of that homeless man? Was he wrong? Or was that sliver of a chance really worth it? After all, what will my wife say when I gave up the last of our funds to a homeless man?

The door opened, and I saw my pregnant wife. She held a smile on those sweet and tender lips of hers. “Come. Dinner is late. And you need food.”

I smiled back at her as I sit at the dinner table, and there was but a single chicken breast, marinated in my Wife’s favorite dressing, it was ranch, and cheese baked in the oven for perfection.

“You are not angry?” I asked. “Why?”

“Because it is part of life.” She said to me. “When I married you, the vow was until death do us part, and I meant it. I meant every word, and I will gladly fight with you. If I have to find a job, I will if it will support us.”

I took one bite of the delectable chicken. It was like honey to my lips, so sweet, so delicious. My phone rang. I looked to my wife, since we had a strict rule about phones at the dinner table.

“Go ahead.” She said to me, smiling that sweet innocent smile, no ounce of remorse, disgust, anger or pity in that expression.

I answered my phone. “What’s goin’ on little brother! How ya doing tonight?”

My extremely excitable brother spoke to me on the phone.

“Not well, I just...I just lost my job.” I answered.

“Yeah, I heard about that. Your wife texted me.” he laughed. “So what is your plan? You need to be able to support them somehow. How?”

“I need to find a job.”

“Well obviously.” My brother said in great sarcasm. “But where?”

“I...I don’t know.” I replied. “I have bills due at the end of the week, and I may face eviction by the time I get another job, it doesn’t look to good right now.”

“Well, as it just so happens, I have a corporate job opening right now.” my brother said to me.

“I don’t know. I’m trying to stay away from corpor_” I began,

“Let me finish. It pays six figures a year, a mighty sum raise from what you were used to getting. It is in your field of study, and for your first month, I will pay your bills only! I will give you fish, but then I will teach how to fish, and build your own empire to be a benefactor for the people!” He said to me. “It is a great opportunity, and you said right now, your chances aren’t all that great. No other employer will offer you housing till you can afford it. What do you say?”

“I can’t refuse with my family on the line.” I said to him.

“Great, just pop in my office on State and bring your bills with you. I will take care of them little brother. You can start on Tuesday.”

“Thank you so much!” I cried, tears of great job, and my wife got up from her seat and embraced our fortune, and greatly gracious and compassionate older brother.

“No. Thank you! I am merely doing what an older brother should do. I am taking care of you when you most need it.” My brother said to me. “Good night, little brother!”

“Good night!” I said back as the phone was hung up. I embraced my wife as we celebrated a new life. This curse of being fired, turned into a great blessing, only because I embraced defeat in my fallen world. I was fired, and though it was because I was slow with reports, it ultimately lead to a better job, a better boss, and a much better life for my family.

Twenty years had passed, and my wife never had to work a day outside in the labor world, which is what we wanted. We had a great marriage, and sent three of our five children to college, paying their way so they wouldn’t have to, humble in spirit we raised them to be, just like me, and hopefully, they will be there for one another as they start their own trials and tribulations as they seek to find a way to live in this ever changing world. My children will have trouble, for they believe with a true heart that my story was only possible because of God. He cursed me, and because I showed faith, and gave everything I had to the man on that train on that rainy day, he blessed me with so much more, using my older brother as a tool.

They all would grow to become like that, and my oldest, was also the genius, to make sure that their life here in America, would be bearable, and knew full well, the consequences of their faith, and what Believing in a good and Just God means, even in America. Their faith, will forever be tested, and I believe, even when I take this to my grave, that they will live good and just lives, not perfect lives, for the only perfect man died two thousand years ago.

I got to see the man only once. This man on the train meant everything to me, though I only saw him once, for the brief time on that train. I will never forget him, and I pray for him everyday, though I am certain, I will never see him again, if he is even still alive, for he was much older than me. The difference in age between the two of us, was the same as me and my youngest son, and that was twenty years ago. That homeless man, was responsible for the love and care that I could give to my children. My children.

“May they serve forever, and faithfully in your kingdom, and help me to help them with their own ministries!”

Reviews

[Krizito]

I'm not religious, but it doesn't stop me from resonating with your story. Guess you can never know what's lies beyond the ocean until you cross the ocean. Great write-up.