Pilgrimage of Deceit

The Pilgrimage of Deceit

My friend John and I were walking down the street, no street lights shined. They all sparked at best with the light that once freely flowed through wiry veins, no more. The grass shriveled, the scent of flowers no longer flowed, but in place of those sweet scents, is now the sewage of what happened.

Countless numbers of people were awaiting the would be leaders of the world, ever since the great crash that shut down all the computers, the internet. Even cars were not working, so people pushed and shoved with great wheelbarrows of food, and bottles of water that had expired, but it didn’t look like they cared. They cared about nothing, merely just to make it to some sort of paradise.

John and I watched from a distance, as we witnessed two men appear behind the veil. One was dressed in white clothes, while the other one, was dark, menacing to my eyes. His dark cloak was tattered, with what appeared to be a rather lone journey, full of hardship, beyond the crisis.

This white figure seemed almost angelic when he spoke, and his voice was easy to listen to, easy to digest in my stomach. “We are all frightened. This I know, and this you know within your hearts with the given collision. There is a way out. Follow me, it is a wide path in which all are welcome to come with me, to the gates of Heaven as this world is destroyed.” I knew in my heart what he meant, this world is caving in to what man thought they could see, but turned several blind eyes.

Recently Scientists have come to the conclusion that the asteroid belt will collide with the Earth, breaking it apart. Already, I can still see the fires that took apart my homeland, as what was but a mere taste of what was the come.

That small shower, comets of fire rained down upon my roof, watching it burn my house, and strike my children. Their youthful faces, they were too young to die. The heat was like Hell fire, their screams scratching my inner lobes with their piercing cries. Oh, how I wished that I could take that memory from my mind.

“Do not listen to this man. He will cast you into Hell, that is not where he says he is leading you, but to Hell he will take you! Come follow me, grab enough food for a few days, we will travel the road, that descends into the hills, and into the skies and into the stars!” Many people already started to clap, merely listening to the words of that angelic voice. “By God, on Earth as it is in Heaven! Lead us to your gates! We have chosen the path of righteousness! Accept us, and Embrace us as we are, sinners!”

Almost without question, or waiting for the dark figure to speak, people began to follow the man in white march forth, leading us to the hills, and already I could see a staircase leading up to the stars, and into the clouds.

“Wait!” John said. “Let us hear what the other has to say!”

“Do not play with the Devil human.” the man in white said.

“Do not follow the Devil.” the man in dark said. His voice was guttural. “Truly I say unto you, I will not lead you down an easy path, but that path on which I take you on, does not go to Hell. It leads to Heaven. The easy path, leads to Hell.” The applause went silent. “None of you, not one single one of you are worthy of entering that gate! I will take you on the path to purge you of your sins when you touch that gate, you will have a clean spirit!”

Dark words they seemed to me, certainly one that lead me astray from the truth. John was intrigued with his words however. Would I lose my friend when the time came to choose paths?

“Follow me, and we will go below to clean you. Then, and only then will we rise to the path of righteousness, as we put on our armor and grab our shields! We will enter the kingdom of Heaven!” The man sighed. The path below, is right beside the path above. Follow me.”

Already I heard many people talk among themselves, the two appointed leaders with obviously different goals, but both lead to Heaven. I will follow the bright master, I have had enough pain and suffering to put up with any more. A cleaning of the soul? I am already clean!

“What do you think John, the Angelic white master? Or the Dark soul?” I asked of him.

“One will lead us the Hell. The other will lead us to Heaven. When the time comes to descend or rise, we must decide who is telling the truth, and who is deceiving us.” He said calmly to me. “There is something about him_”

“But he is dark. His voice is not angelic like the bright master. It is easy!” I stammered in my protest; eager to save my friend from eternal damnation.

“But is easy always better?” He replied as we came to the road.

The road was of yellow bricks as it was laid out. It ascended like a stairway, curving into the clouds. On the right side of that path, was a narrow, but hot staircase. I placed my hand over an opening and it scorched my fingerprints.

“This, is where we must part ways.” The man in white said to the people. “You cannot be part of Heaven and Hell. You must choose, and now is the time to make your decision, but decide quickly. Time is running out.”

“As if those were with you to decide or not. They have already made their choice.” The man in dark said. “If you choose the path of these yellow bricks which he says leads to Heaven, and should you fall, just know, I will gladly equip you for any trial and tribulation, even through the fires.” Fire spit out of the staircase as if it was breathed upon. Immediately, I knew that was Hell, and the dark man was the Devil leading us into it. Though, that didn’t stop people from following him into that fiery staircase. John started to follow him, as many others chose the man dressed in white. The man in White had so many more followers than the man in Dark, it had to be the right choice.

I grabbed John’s arms. “Don’t go down there. It is Hell.”

“If I am wrong, then I have not wasted my life, but I have wasted my Eternity!” he said to me, his eyes red, distraught as he did not know what path to take. I knew which path was right. “If you, are wrong, then you have wasted your eternity.”

“Just look at the number of people following that man! It has the be the right decision!” I said.

“That decision makes it the popular one. The popular decision isn’t always right. After all, Adolf Hitler was Popular. Look at what happened to the Jews? An entire race was nearly exterminated because people went with popular belief. For that reason, and that reason alone I choose this path.” John said to me. I instantly refuted the idea that this man could be Hitler. “Now, I urge you to reconsider taking those staircases above, and join me in these staircases below.”

“No.” I said.

“Then this is where we part ways.” John said, hugging me, crying over my shoulder. “I say good bye to you, because I know, I will never see you again. Good bye Will.”

I embraced him one last time before letting him descend into the staircase leading to Hell, before I turned and went with the Bright Master. The stairs, went up and up and up into the clouds, and I could scarcely see below in the stairway that was Hell. I looked below, and I could see John, and his fellows wearing thick armor. Many had shields, and others swords and spears. Why the midieval weapons? Ah. There it was.

Lions cascaded with fire roared, and attacked the men following the Dark One. But they still made no move to leave the staircase of Hell. I watched, and the Dark One would not allow anyone to be scathed by the fire, nor would he allow anyone to fall under its malice. Why? He lead them to their own destruction? Why won’t he let them die?

“Master?” I said to the bright one.

“Yes?” he said, his voice spoke coldly.

“Why does the Dark man not wish his victims to die?” I asked.

“He wants them to get into the Heart of Suffering!” He answered. “I will not let you suffer, not while you are with me.”

I felt reassured. I observed the staircases below. Oh the miserable fools! How they suffer, and will continue to suffer for they will not escape Hell. They were bitten, and marred, screams cried up to us, but we could not help them. There was no escaping their fate, nor was their any helping them.

I observed our stairs that cascaded into the clouds, and saw a great temple. The temple was shrouded in bright glory that I cannot describe in words for no words were ever made, much less written in the mount of glory this deserves.  I saw a gate, and saw another man, dressed also in white.

“Why have you come, knocking on my gate?” He said.

“Let us in your kingdom. The time has come.” the Bright Master said.

“But I know none of you.” the man said.

“I know you, and you know me too well.” the bright master replied, his voice went cold again.

I witnessed the most peculiar thing. There was a white road, that just appeared from the clouds. I saw, the dark master walking, and leading the very tired men, women, and children. CHILDREN! Parents willingly let their children suffer! How dare they lead them into Hell!

Then I thought about the dark man. I asked, “Who are you?”

The gate keeper walked to him as he said, “I am Jesus Christ, I am the way, the truth and the light. No one gets to the father except through me.”

I opened my eyes in Horror, going to the gatekeeper, on both knees, I was the fool. I pleaded, “Please let me in. I will never sin again God! Please oh please oh please let me in. Don’t let me into that Hell.”

“That Hell is but the surface of what it really is.” Jesus said to him. “You are bypassing that surface.” The door opened, and the mass exodus of those who followed Jesus, walked through the gate. I tried to get in. I found myself chained, and likewise, the bright master chained, and all of those who followed the bright master were chained. I wept, and cried, as the Gatekeeper, Jesus, and my friend John entered the Kingdom of Heaven, the Kingdom of God, and the gates shut before my very eyes.

Then, it happened. The asteroid belt came in waves, ripping apart the yellow bricks, and we all fell. The shattered bricks splintered us, as we descended into Hell!

Reviews

[Ruth]

A word of caution about this review: these are my honest opinion and are meant as a critique, a reflection of my personal opinions, and not as a criticism of your talent. The story and writing are both very good.

So here's what I think: this is rough draft at best. The story begins erratically and is hard to pinpoint until the dialogue begins. In the first few paragraphs, when you're setting the scene, I can see that you're attempting to bring to life the imagery in your head of this world on the brink of hell - and the imagery here is good - but it's hazy. What I mean by this is, you have a lot of snippets of images and stories relevant to this world happening all at once, and they overlap and blur so it's hard to tell what's going on until I've read it over twice. Get more specific with it and, especially, take your time - choose one or two potent images to focus on, cut the "back story" but let it inform the images you choose - and the whole picture of the world you're crafting will un-blur. Don't tell us what we already know; let us figure it out for ourselves.

As for the story itself, I can see where you're going with it, and I love it. I'm personally inclined toward the spiritual and this illustration is a beautiful and rather appropriate parable for our times (RE: US election 2016). Your storytelling is compelling and creative.

Please keep writing.

[Rafy T.Nym]

The description of this story is lively and wonderful.I'm really inspired by your writing style.Your story has a mesmerizing ending,though the starting was quite simple.
Really,a beautiful piece of work!

[Jacob Clifford]

Huh. Interesting read. I like the twisting you did throughout. I am interested what other writings you can produce.

One little critique I have: your writing feels a bit loose. Meaning that it feels unfocused, and sometimes like I'm just reading lists. Overall, your wiring certainly isn't bad. Keep at your writing. See ya later!

[Krizito]

Wow,the way you twisted it, I would have made the narrator's mistake if I was in his shoes. Good work, and for the record, you describe exceedingly well.