Truth and Consequences

Some things are better left unsaid best locked in your heart there saved The pain you harbor in your chest is your own, to take to the grave

Life seems a never ending dream

filled with hopelessness and despair

Where we are put to trial everyday

while suffering is everywhere

 

To friends who think they come up short

through transgressions against a mate

Who feel they should confess their sins

then sit back and accept their fate

 

Some things are better left unsaid

best locked in your heart there to save

The pain you harbor in your chest

is your own, to take to the grave

 

Confessing sins to a loved one

while it serves to ease guilt in you

Transfers your pain to the other

who is blameless for what you do

 

Shame is the thing that hurts the most

it teaches us valuable things

Such as what not to do next time

you are hurt and the telephone rings

 

Author's Note

I have given this much thought. Many friends over the years have asked me if they should confess to their lovers. I have come to see it is a selfish act. While most religions and 12 step programs say confess as the Catholics do. I say no. You are crushing the innocent partners soul with your confession. Sometimes it's better to take responsibility for your actions. Live with the pain of what you did. It will help guide you next time. When one laments the wrongs of their life it creates these pains. They are called the conscience. So live with them. And try to be better next time. I have made many mistakes and I shall atone for them in the end. I did these things myself and it is not for others to suffer the consequences. I am glad I will take my own transgressions with me. After all I am responsible for what I do as is everyone. I have spent many years trying to reconcile with myself. I am not saying I did anything truly awful. However I let myself down more than a few times in my youth.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Tate,

Are you getting better as a writer?! It seems to me that your more recent writes greatly surpass what I've read of you in years past. Now know that I have always thought your poetry to be beautiful from a raw passion sense, and that full continues, but your recent skill in language is so wonderful.

Now in this piece, while I really love the poem, I read the "Author's Note" first, and I found the words to be profound. You and I agree wholeheartedly on this and I didn't think that any other really understood this. But you do. I am gratified. This is profound wisdom, Tate. I don't think I have any serious transgressions either--but you never know what might be serious to a loved one. Nonetheless, swallow it. Don't cause grief. Protect your loved ones. If they don't need to know and the knowledge would cause them pain, swallow it. Don't be selfish. Keep quiet and give them a hug instead. Now I'm not advocating lying or going behind a loved one's back. That is pure selfishness as well, and not in the best interests of family. No, I'm talking about protecting the ones you love, not pulling the wool over their eyes. I'm talking about being an adult and making well thought out and generous decisions. I'm talking about withholding unnecessary pain as you are as well.

Beautiful sentiments as always. I get this one and so fully agree.

Best regards,

Rick

[Muse]

Your wisdom...it's profound...on so many levels. As many of us know, the truth hurts. And words do sting more than a punch, words can scar deeper and longer than any physical blow. I think there are many people out there that will read this and take it to heart. Thank you for being you....thank you for sharing your wisdom with others. Thank you for gracing us with your beautiful poetry. 100/100
x

[Ramya]

U r so true about the confession part. Well said in the last two stanzas. It is better to keep hurtful things to ourselves than getting them ingrained in another human being. Better to keep mum and bridle our responsibilities!

Excellent poem!

[Shy Girl]

Depends on just what you have done though. Even assuming it isn't to awful..no lives lost etc... I'm not sure that keeping it inside is the right choice for everyone. Though you are correct in that it is the sinners "job" to handle the "fallout" (just generalizing in quotes there :) But when you keep a "pink elephant" always in the room..then trying to cope becomes a "curse" in a way. You are cursed by that your judgement is always weighing out .. should I... shouldn't I...and it may not have anything to do with that secret you've been unable to share. Over time then that lack of open relationships can drag that individual into a spiral and they are so angry at themselves they hurt those around them, simply because they just can't take the mental turmoil inside. The consequences of the telling a negative...there is one positive..it comes out...but many negatives. And a perception of you that carries vast changes that maybe you aren't strong enough to handle. Strength in oneself would, to me, be a large factor in this decision often. :) They are yours to handle, yes, but will the handling mentally destroy you and your loved ones...or can you take that secret to the grave? :)

[Coyote Poetry]

"Confessing sins to a loved one
while it serves to ease guilt in you
Transfers your pain to the other
who is blameless for what you do"
I believe some sins and bad action to be put away. After the act is done. Better to learn from and not to repeat. Telling a love one your weaknesses is a iffy situation. Few of us are perfect. I believe forgiveness come from becoming a good person and learning to be kind. A outstanding poem. Made me think this early morning.
Coyote

[J]

and i've a very definitive opinion on this dilemma, tate. as to confessing to the wronged: cowardly. self-serving selfishness.

i agree with you. i can think of no reason that is not wholly self-aggrandizement that would serve a higher purpose. we are each responsible for our own actions. that means we bear our burdens and confess them to God alone. the innocent are just that; deserving to walk a path untainted by another's failures.

[Stacey Watts]

This is a very well written piece. No truer words have been spoken here. A lot of time the guilt we owe is best left buried. Especially when things work out for the better. Time heals wounds and forgiveness of oneself is paramount.

[joshua deathdealer]

This is a very interesting. I've thought similar concerning my writings because the reader is able to tune in and even feel the pain and despair. Cause and effect. Excellent poem Tate.

[MoriartyMesa]

Being a Vodka soaked Mexican Irish Catholic, I can say with out a doubt.

"Sometimes the truth does not help anything" While reading this, I thought back to people who felt the need to burden others with their sin, vice, and ignorance. Sometimes things are left under one's hat, than exposed to the world.

[light and ashes]

I think that you shouldn't HAVE to tell your lover of your sins, but if you feel so comfortable with them that you want to share your sins with them I see no harm in it. We are not perfect, and we should not ever expect perfectness from anyone from ourselves or anyone else. All that matters is to be a great human being. Trust me, you should not beat yourself up so much. Forgive yourself. I have had at least one utter monster in my life, with not even one ounce of goodness inside of them. Even the worst thing that you have done would make you look like an angel in heaven in comparison. This is a beautiful poem..I just disagree with this part. It is true that some truths are better left unsaid not all of the time though.