Truth and Consequences

Some things are better left unsaid best locked in your heart there saved The pain you harbor in your chest is your own, to take to the grave

Life seems a never ending dream

filled with hopelessness and despair

Where we are put to trial everyday

while suffering is everywhere

 

To friends who think they come up short

through transgressions against a mate

Who feel they should confess their sins

then sit back and accept their fate

 

Some things are better left unsaid

best locked in your heart there to save

The pain you harbor in your chest

is your own, to take to the grave

 

Confessing sins to a loved one

while it serves to ease guilt in you

Transfers your pain to the other

who is blameless for what you do

 

Shame is the thing that hurts the most

it teaches us valuable things

Such as what not to do next time

you are hurt and the telephone rings

 

Author's Note

I have given this much thought. Many friends over the years have asked me if they should confess to their lovers. I have come to see it is a selfish act. While most religions and 12 step programs say confess as the Catholics do. I say no. You are crushing the innocent partners soul with your confession. Sometimes it's better to take responsibility for your actions. Live with the pain of what you did. It will help guide you next time. When one laments the wrongs of their life it creates these pains. They are called the conscience. So live with them. And try to be better next time. I have made many mistakes and I shall atone for them in the end. I did these things myself and it is not for others to suffer the consequences. I am glad I will take my own transgressions with me. After all I am responsible for what I do as is everyone. I have spent many years trying to reconcile with myself. I am not saying I did anything truly awful. However I let myself down more than a few times in my youth.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Tate,

Are you getting better as a writer?! It seems to me that your more recent writes greatly surpass what I've read of you in years past. Now know that I have always thought your poetry to be beautiful from a raw passion sense, and that full continues, but your recent skill in language is so wonderful.

Now in this piece, while I really love the poem, I read the "Author's Note" first, and I found the words to be profound. You and I agree wholeheartedly on this and I didn't think that any other really understood this. But you do. I am gratified. This is profound wisdom, Tate. I don't think I have any serious transgressions either--but you never know what might be serious to a loved one. Nonetheless, swallow it. Don't cause grief. Protect your loved ones. If they don't need to know and the knowledge would cause them pain, swallow it. Don't be selfish. Keep quiet and give them a hug instead. Now I'm not advocating lying or going behind a loved one's back. That is pure selfishness as well, and not in the best interests of family. No, I'm talking about protecting the ones you love, not pulling the wool over their eyes. I'm talking about being an adult and making well thought out and generous decisions. I'm talking about withholding unnecessary pain as you are as well.

Beautiful sentiments as always. I get this one and so fully agree.

Best regards,

Rick

[Mauricio Montoya]

This is a tough one, but we do need to take responsibly for our actions, very nicely done to get the massage across.

[Deandra Dawn]

Very beautifully done. There are a lot of things that should never be said because it is like you are just transferring the pain and it is very selfish if you really sit down and take the time to think about it. Wise words, beautifully written, amazing job.

[Andy Ruffett]

It's true, some things are better left unsaid. You should never burden someone else with your pain as it is not their pain to bear. Hopefully you'll be forgiven of your sins and just move on. What's in the past is in the past. Remember it, learn from it, and move on. Don't let the past haunt you.

[Allan Eddings]

I am glad you brought my attention to this piece, it does not disappoint. It has a slow rhythm to it, it does not give into flourish nor does it turn in mad despair, there is a poignant acceptance of fact about its structure.

The words that compose the piece are simple, easy to read, and communicate to everyone - as is evidenced by so many heartfelt reviews below, and eventually above my own. The ability to communicate to a wide audience is an admirable and rare talent, one I do not posses, so naturally I admire it all the more.

As for the subject matter I find it an intriguing notion. Kant would certainly disagree with you, but then I find Kant to be a moralising prude to an extent. I have always pondered but never entirely agreed with an off-hand remark I made once, "Conscience is not the voice of morality only the voice of prejudice. What you call immorality, is just the morality of someone having more fun than you." I made the quip at some priest lecturing me during a discussion we were having. Regardless I haven't entirely resolved myself to the statement yet, but I thought it pertinent to the subject of your piece.

I shall stop my rambling and conclude as I begun with an earnest thank you.

Regards,
A.E.

[RedInk524]

Ah yes, i do love the subject and i myself have been dwelling the topic in my mind for a while now. To confide, or conceal? Your argument makes much sense, why burden another with our own faults? When thought of that way, the answer is quite clear. You cant pass a scar to another, so why pass shame?
The only true mistake, is to not learn from them. If you can do that, there is no need to confess.

[WindSong]

This is such a great poem...beautifully written! It reminds me of classic writing.

Best,
WindSong

[The Scholar]

Interesting concept, and truly well-written.

Not sure whether I agree or not; I'll likely have to give it much thought as you did.
I do think though, that human nature is not meant to be alone, to live alone, to laugh alone, or to suffer alone. Companionship is a divine gift, so that we do not have to live with our own shame, and that we may trust another and confide in another and weather the storms in the company of another.
Of course, complaining incessantly to someone is another thing, but that wasn't your point.

Then again, I have never experienced the need to confess to a lover, so perhaps I know not of what I speak.

All in all, I love the poem! And you bring up an intriguing thought.

[Octob3r Star]

This writing was very beautiful. You have a way with words that lets the reader imagine themselves.

[Manpreet]

Beautiful poem here! Hard to follow but a unique thought here!!!

[Emerald Seas]

Wonderful writing, Tate. A thought provoking piece to say the least.
Confession is an act we should complete with God. Within the Catholic church a priest acts as God's presence to receive your confession, to assist the one burden with one to hear and absolve them of their sins through the actions and power granted to priests from God. Personally, I think if someone honestly confesses in prayer, a heartfelt admission with remorse and intent to not commit the sin again, that works. The individual is speaking with God, who can argue with that?
I would not recommend telling your significant other of past transgressions, but to do your humanly best to not repeat the same mistake. Some have more difficulty with that concept than others. The only concept I can see that contradicts that teaching is when dealing with gossip. We (Catholics) are taught that gossip is a mortal sin and part of penance is to admit to the offended party (preferably in person) that you have gossiped about them and ask for their forgiveness. We (society) look at adultery and other forms of infidelity as "harsher" sin, more severe. However, sin is sin and our hearts know this to be true. One day each of us must answer for our transgressions, in the meantime... yes, some pains we create should be held close to the chest, not shared so as to not cause more harm, and wait for our own judgment day.