Truth and Consequences

Some things are better left unsaid best locked in your heart there saved The pain you harbor in your chest is your own, to take to the grave

Life seems a never ending dream

filled with hopelessness and despair

Where we are put to trial everyday

while suffering is everywhere

 

To friends who think they come up short

through transgressions against a mate

Who feel they should confess their sins

then sit back and accept their fate

 

Some things are better left unsaid

best locked in your heart there to save

The pain you harbor in your chest

is your own, to take to the grave

 

Confessing sins to a loved one

while it serves to ease guilt in you

Transfers your pain to the other

who is blameless for what you do

 

Shame is the thing that hurts the most

it teaches us valuable things

Such as what not to do next time

you are hurt and the telephone rings

 

Author's Note

I have given this much thought. Many friends over the years have asked me if they should confess to their lovers. I have come to see it is a selfish act. While most religions and 12 step programs say confess as the Catholics do. I say no. You are crushing the innocent partners soul with your confession. Sometimes it's better to take responsibility for your actions. Live with the pain of what you did. It will help guide you next time. When one laments the wrongs of their life it creates these pains. They are called the conscience. So live with them. And try to be better next time. I have made many mistakes and I shall atone for them in the end. I did these things myself and it is not for others to suffer the consequences. I am glad I will take my own transgressions with me. After all I am responsible for what I do as is everyone. I have spent many years trying to reconcile with myself. I am not saying I did anything truly awful. However I let myself down more than a few times in my youth.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Tate,

Are you getting better as a writer?! It seems to me that your more recent writes greatly surpass what I've read of you in years past. Now know that I have always thought your poetry to be beautiful from a raw passion sense, and that full continues, but your recent skill in language is so wonderful.

Now in this piece, while I really love the poem, I read the "Author's Note" first, and I found the words to be profound. You and I agree wholeheartedly on this and I didn't think that any other really understood this. But you do. I am gratified. This is profound wisdom, Tate. I don't think I have any serious transgressions either--but you never know what might be serious to a loved one. Nonetheless, swallow it. Don't cause grief. Protect your loved ones. If they don't need to know and the knowledge would cause them pain, swallow it. Don't be selfish. Keep quiet and give them a hug instead. Now I'm not advocating lying or going behind a loved one's back. That is pure selfishness as well, and not in the best interests of family. No, I'm talking about protecting the ones you love, not pulling the wool over their eyes. I'm talking about being an adult and making well thought out and generous decisions. I'm talking about withholding unnecessary pain as you are as well.

Beautiful sentiments as always. I get this one and so fully agree.

Best regards,

Rick

[Distant horizons]

Stunning words, as always sir. truly spoke to me. Especially the part of how all you are doing is transferring your pain to the other. I had never seen it in this light before. I totally agree however, that the innocent party shouldn't be the one left to suffer, although in reality i am sure this is the case all too often. Wonderfully captured.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

As we go through life, there is an ebb and flow of lessons that come our way. How we react to the situation can change the course, of which, was once on solid ground. But we are not perfect, we're human after all, so we may react differently then others. But, pain is pain, and consequences are inevitable regardless of the confession. One way or another truth is revealed. I believe that's Karma. There is also something called forgiveness which releases the suffering and allows the healing to get back on solid ground.Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking piece. Well penned.

[Lily Mae]

Wonderful write.. thank you for sharing...x

[The Analog Kid]

Very poignant. The clarity is right there. I guess it really depends on the situation. I also understand your point about shouldering the blame and guilt. It's almost like we as humans need something to remember from the last time we lapsed ...needing it to burn a hole in our soul so we don't do it again.

[AK]

Brilliant poem! Your writing style is stunning as always. Ignorance is bliss, and for the person to whom you confess, it is indeed. Certain confessions can torment a person long enough before they even realise that the fault and act is not their's. Wisdom rings in thy brilliant poem, thank you very much for sending me a message!
P.S-I love your rhyming scheme:)

[The White Wolf]

As someone who has gone through an ex's infidelity, I would be on the other end of the spectrum. There is nothing more selfish than holding back. Learning the truth about infidelity in my own relationship was the best day of my life. It was the day that I was free from someone who didn't deserve my love. There are consequences to every action but to hide yourself from them by lying, in my eyes, shows a total lack of respect for both yourself and for the other party. To be authentic, to be honest, to be real, is the greatest service we can render. The Golden Rule...it is a good one.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts through poetry. I am glad we can share so openly about this topic and that we can agree to disagree.

[Jeremy Baker]

Shame and guilt are such damaging emotions and, yes, at times confessing can be a totally selfish thing to do. None of us is perfect and we all, or at least I, have done things that I regret, but I like the implied challenge in this to consider the consequences of trying to do the 'right thing', and for whom we are doing it. Indeed, taking our pains to the grace, as you write, is perhaps the most effective way of making sure the pain truly goes away for good. A very thought provoking poem.

[Wendy Seames Garner]

Oh Tate, this one touches my soul...24 years ago my husband confessed to an affair that had already ended. If only he had not told me, how different my life would have been. This confession devastated me, made me doubt myself in so many ways. It took me so very long to realize that the problem wasn't me, but with him.

Nice you choose for the music " the IRISH Sinéad O'Connor " different.... as I would think Thank you for your mail to review this. I love it. Wisdom never shall fail. I love what I love, and it's pure to me. As I never shall want it published, they know who they are, and no reason to vanity in writing ore attention is needed. Purity shall win always.

Beautifully done Tate!