Hills of Home

Bells of the town clock tower took too much from you and me Yet off to the rock and river they give of life for eternity

Wind ran by to kiss your cheek

round your neck our gilded hopes hung

The hand of God flowed soft within

from when he was happy and young

______________________________

Forget the nights of wanton desire

give to me not love nor tears

Evenings filled with endless dreams

bring me safe from all life's fears

______________________________

Your beauty is so great to bear

my chest hardly held its ache

For beauty more than bitter tears

will make the soft heart break

______________________________

Bells of the town clock tower

took too much from you and me

Yet off to the rock and river

they gave of life for eternity

______________________________

How often did we pass each other

o'er the long years as others do

Ne'er  once daring to ride the fire

to heavens door we never knew

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Author's Note

This is my first attempt at something a bit abstract. So please bear with me as I learn.
In our great attempt at manifest destiny we have left so many families broken apart, estranged, lost to the winds of time. Even now we let our cities die as we build ever outward to the horizons. We are in such a hurry to make our mark on this world we forget the most important thing, home. Is any man strong enough that he never need to lean on the foundation that bore him to adulthood? As in the times of the ancient mariner we all hear the call of sirens that gesture us to sail home. Continuity of purpose flows from the wellspring of our lives. In the end we all find we are drawn inexorably home, to the hearth from around which we told our tales of long ago and spun our yarns of a life well lived. The well spent life will always beckon from the winds of change a call for home.

Reviews

[roarke]

home is many things. The hearth, heart.... it's an age old concept, not always evident in modern times. But visible or not, it's the same, "never risking once to ask the way..." What should be instinctual from cradle now is disintegrated into many disconnected parts, waiting for each one to find it and fashion it anew.... difficult task. Ah, continuity of purpose... intentions, home isn't made of serendipity... the hearth fire isn't the glow of a flat screen.... the dry, warm, quiet inner security isn't provided by gated community security....
Heaven's door, the eternal home.

[Greg the Bard]

I'm not sure I follow your Author's Note when reading the work. I feel when any writer has to explain themselves before or after a write it takes away from the read. That being said I must say this is a very good read with many deep thoughts and images to show the reader. I really like it. I'm not a reader that likes to listen to music when I read and this is not any different. The music is very good but I'd just the same read without it. I think it takes away from the images you are making. Still I really like this write.

[Dayran]

A self discovery, but more than that, a well fought and earned self discovery. These are the things we treasure the most. A new beauty perhaps, around a heart that is stout. The poem shows the way.

[Miss Marie Riorden.]

Since I'm really not the religious type I can't really put this in the point you'd want me to. I like the rhyming scheme and the flow is amazing nonetheless.
It's an easy read, and I liked reading it.

2nd to last stanza is my favorite. (:

-Marie-

[Andy Ruffett]

Powerful imagery and I think it's very good. I was curious as to why you wrote it until I read the author's note. I like how you tried to take up the old writing style and I think you did it very well. As it's written by someone back in the day. I like how you're attempting something new. It's always great when writers try that. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more.

Your writer friend,


-Andy Ruffett

[Marshal Gebbie]

This piece had the feeling of agelessness. It had the warm longing of ownership and a passive love of valued things, long gone. The writing had a tone of sad belonging.
I really enjoyed this piece. well done Tate.

[Kate Hunter]

It's really deep, I had to read it a couple of times to understand it, but, that's a good thing. Well done, I wouldn't have been able to guess that it was your first one. It flowed very well. It was very intriguing. You did a very good job.

[Emunah June.]

Wind ran by to kiss your cheek

round your neck a locket hung

The hand of God flowed soft within


as when he was happy and young



That verse immedietly drew me in. I loved it!! For your first attempt at abstract writing, this was amazing. I mean, every word you wrote was amazingly magical and utterly breathtaking. Your Author's Note speaks almost as much as the actual poem itself. Thank you for the share!!

[Sunni Davis]

I love the message in this :Home is where the heart is but oftimes, the heart is too lost to recognize the home it has. Very well written, Tate.

[Bryan Micheni]

for a first time abstract, pretty good. good write

[patricia]

For beauty more than bitter tears will make the soft heart break...were two of my favourite lines here. Great picture! I have to say Tate...for me the real poetry here was in your authors note, which I found pretty amazing and agreed with one hundred per cent. Thanks.