Tin Man

it is such a strange thing to be human

 

 

I hear the rhythm of the rain

wind-whipped drops falling to the ground

Tapping on the old window pane

there's music in that lonesome sound

 

Skipping through the morning shower

daisies covered by mist in dew

Calm and warm so tame with power

life springs forth all fresh and anew

 

Watching the world's sins melt away

gifting life with the chance to be

Feeling the sun light up the day

washing the blues away from me

 

Like the man built solely from tin

with a chest full of broken dreams

The rain falls softly on my skin

nothing quite the way that it seems

 

Watching the clouds that turn to rain

falling on the glass by and by

They run down from the window pane

before the grace of you kneel I

 

Author's Note

Such a metaphor for my own life the tin man. Often I am right as rain. Moments later set by depression and doubt. Then the rain comes washes away the blues and I am fine again. The sun comes up and shines upon me again.All my worries pale in consequence.
Tate

Reviews

[TrimarcoRansome]

Hi Tate, After having a break I find this easier too read...Sometimes when you have been working n your own work it's hard to get into a different rhyme, so my fault not yours! I was going to add to my original comment but it seems it has been deleted?!

[Tate Morgan]

Hi dear. I suppose your trouble with the rhyme is the first stanza the one and only time i can remember using a similar rhyme .

[TrimarcoRansome]

Hi Tate,
Yes I think it is, how about around/round instead of down?

[Tate Morgan]

I like that see what you think

[TrimarcoRansome]

Yes! That is so much easier to read now! Really flows and takes you straight into the rest of it

[Tate Morgan]

thank you you were correct i think

[TrimarcoRansome]

Don't rely on me! do what you think is right, I have been working on several pieces of writing recently and it can get stuck in your head sometimes!

[Tate Morgan]

I like your thoughts and respect your opinion. You are classically educated through the English system .

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

We all have some mood swings like that but some people really have a great problem with them...There is meds now to help so they say...I had a really blue day yesterday...Doing better today...Like your approach to the subject..Keep the creative pen flowing..Sara

[LonelySoul]

if I only had a heart...maybe life wouldn't seem so rusty at times

[JENY]

good….
Touch of pessimism in each line….
Philosophical…..
Really great...

[Tia Sanchez]

Well, after 50 reviews, there's probably not much I can say that hasn't already been said. But I liked this. Quite amusing.

[a]

A lovely poem, that captivated me, so I won't spoil this one with my suggestions, that don't give a s**t anyway. ;)

Thank you!

[WriterSki7]

ABAB; 5 stanzas. Wonderful verse; beautiful rhyme.
As usual, you do another fantastic job. Well done.

[SR Urie]

Nice work Tate,
The tin man, whom is not supposed to have a heart, finds within himself new hope rising with the sun and fear of rust washes away with the pattering of the rain. As those good ol' boys in 'America' said, " Oh Oz never did give nothin' to the Tin Man that he didn't already have ..."
BZ

[Laura]

This is a very haunting poem to me. I think it's great. It's a really strong poem and I don't think I'll be able to forget it. This created a lot of imagery in my head and it flowed smoothly.

[G. Marie"floating on an..]

This poem spoke to my heart and I am often hypnotized by the sound of the falling rain. its such a comforting sound but yet it can be terrifying with the accompanying thunder and lightning where this comment is going I dont know but all Im saying is that this is a great poem it flowed gracefully just like the rhythm of the rain you spoke of. I loved the first stanza and the forth being the most significant as the previous review stated.

[Coyote Poetry]

A man must overcome may things in a life. Can't allow the world to take him down. I like the feel and strength in the poem. A outstanding poem.
Coyote