Tin Man

it is such a strange thing to be human

 

 

I hear the rhythm of the rain

wind-whipped drops falling to the ground

Tapping on the old window pane

there's music in that lonesome sound

 

Skipping through the morning shower

daisies covered by mist in dew

Calm and warm so tame with power

life springs forth all fresh and anew

 

Watching the world's sins melt away

gifting life with the chance to be

Feeling the sun light up the day

washing the blues away from me

 

Like the man built solely from tin

with a chest full of broken dreams

The rain falls softly on my skin

nothing quite the way that it seems

 

Watching the clouds that turn to rain

falling on the glass by and by

They run down from the window pane

before the grace of you kneel I

 

Author's Note

Such a metaphor for my own life the tin man. Often I am right as rain. Moments later set by depression and doubt. Then the rain comes washes away the blues and I am fine again. The sun comes up and shines upon me again.All my worries pale in consequence.
Tate

Reviews

[TrimarcoRansome]

Hi Tate, After having a break I find this easier too read...Sometimes when you have been working n your own work it's hard to get into a different rhyme, so my fault not yours! I was going to add to my original comment but it seems it has been deleted?!

[Tate Morgan]

Hi dear. I suppose your trouble with the rhyme is the first stanza the one and only time i can remember using a similar rhyme .

[TrimarcoRansome]

Hi Tate,
Yes I think it is, how about around/round instead of down?

[Tate Morgan]

I like that see what you think

[TrimarcoRansome]

Yes! That is so much easier to read now! Really flows and takes you straight into the rest of it

[Tate Morgan]

thank you you were correct i think

[TrimarcoRansome]

Don't rely on me! do what you think is right, I have been working on several pieces of writing recently and it can get stuck in your head sometimes!

[Tate Morgan]

I like your thoughts and respect your opinion. You are classically educated through the English system .

[Robert Trakofler]

You are much much more than meets the eye mr Tate the rain cleanses the wretched but it can cause some rust spots let the poetry polish them To shining Good sir lovely lines good sir

[Tate Morgan]

Hi Robert glad you liked this abstraction I’m not good at abstract but I’ve fine maybe three of them thanks

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Tate.., this is a gentle rain that falls softly
on your window pain.. We should be gentle with ourself and all our worries will disappear and life will be as a soft breeze when winter’s
roses will rest beneath the snow. truly, Pat

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you Patricia I have toyed with this one for a long time. I think Ive rewritten it a hundred times Including after your review I thank you

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Tate... the greatest gift is a child's smile and even when we smile... we cannot deny it is a blessing. truly, Pat

[Tate Morgan]

So true my own grandchildren arrive tomorrow to raise the 15 ft christmas tree at my mothers Joy

[Patricia Wedel]

Whoa... now that is a Christmas tree...
like raising a Barn... but with a Star at the Top.
May your Christmas be filled with blessings. truly, Pat

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you This will be the 25th we have put up For my mother each 15 ft

[Ted Kniffen]

Lovely bit here Tate and isn't ironic that the Tin Man always had what he wanted...it just needed a nudge in the right direction. There is a certain peace to be found in rain running down a window or drumming on a roof...I have always loved that feeling that comes with it.

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you ted . This was a strange one for me I wrote a while back I’ve rewritten a bunch of times. I’m not very good at indirect Subjects

[Barbara Walker]

The sun washes away your blues, as the water washes away the dirt on your body, making all seem new and bright! I love the line, "There but for the grace of you go I." This could be a person or God but I take that it's a person, a very important person! I enjoyed reading this, Tate, but of course, I always love your work!

[Lena M. P.]

Very well written Tate. The metaphor of light washing away our sins, issues, pain, is like crying and rebirth to start anew. We can't have the flowers without the rains, we can't appreciate the sunlight if we haven't walked through the storms.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Hi Tate! I like the metaphor of the Tin Man you used here, and the content But I just cannot grasp the rhyme. I will go away and come back again to this one after a muse!!
Helen

[Mic]

Soothing as a psalm. Nothing like a cleansing rain to stifle the drought.

Most often it's not what's said, but how it's said that captures the ear. You've said it well. Very well done!

[Lily Mae]

I can relate.. In one of my seminars I told the group to image the "blues" or the "negative" energy of the day being washed off the body and down the drain... keeping us sparkly and new while the earth transmutes the other into light and love.. A recycling of sorts :) Sorry to ramble but your words reminded me of my own rain. the feeling to be cleansed...xo

[Marie]

Rain washes the world clean for a little while...for a little while we shine with the sun....