Fate

For when could I say that i believed I was such a treasured soul

 

Lucy Hamilton

 Princess of Ireland

When could I say that I believed

I was such a treasured soul

To give up the life you've conceived

for a chance at half not whole

 

Having tasted the nectar of life

who can say they would pass it on

For years full of trouble and strife

filled with all of what was, now gone

 

Life wasn't meant to cost so much

that you pay for your love in tears

I couldn't bear it to be such

that I cost you unhappy years

 

Many a night I looked up in awe

to the sweet sky above my head

Longing to be that star you saw

to hear the wistful things you said

 

So now I lie in wait for dawn

watching the stars all twinkle out

Dreaming of things that were, now gone

we never thought we’d live without

Author's Note

To Lucy Hamilton of Ireland. Brightest star in the Northern sky.

Reviews

[Magdelena]

This was absolutely divine.. OMG! I feel tears..

Tate you are one in a million and I could read your work all day and night.

Mags xx

[An owl on the moon]

This has such a magical beauty to it, moving across time.. the world as it once was.. so sweet.. now passing into memory and more. So beautiful with a longing heart.

[sharonlee]

Hauntingly honest...I like this...perhaps reality can be better than imagination specially after the fact when we often choose to put memories particularly memories of lost loves and friends on a pedestal...but then I supose that is where reality and imagination have blurred boundries...

[Mia]

Great job! I love the flow of this piece. Congrats on placing in the Picture Perfect contest!

[Marie Harrison]

Such an eloquent expression to read. I love the twinkling stars inside this write. Very lovely.

[Abdul Aziz]

Awesome. You certainly are a master technician when it comes to crafting poems.
Almost all your poems that I have read, are smooth, and soothing. And this poem is no exception. Though you speak of the pains of separation, you put it so beautifully, it really is amazing.
Rhyme really gives this poem an added dimension. I've always thought that the use of rhyme is to heighten a poem's eloquence, and you've proved it here.

"Life wasn’t meant to cost so much
that you pay for your love in tears
I couldn't bear it to be such
that I cost you your life in years"
That was simplicity defined! You're a magician, as the Stoic has said.

"So now I lie in wait for dawn
watching the stars all twinkle out
Dreaming of things that were, now gone
we never thought we’d live without"
I can't think of a better conclusion for this poem.

Thank you for this wonderful lesson on poetry!
Peace,
Abdul.

[N.E.T.]

Just the most endearing thing - this poem. You so beautifully capture the deepest part of your soul, and somehow it radiates through everyone else who reads your work as well - this one is especially moving and left me breathless.

Tate I know of some highly regarded lyrical poetry contests which I really think you should be participating in if not already - send me a message and I will give you the links. You make this look so easy.

[MagiCrystal]

Tate .. you have not learned anything about me.. I read with my soul not my mind.. and my heart speaks to me about you.. or the person who writes.. I do not see poetry and feel it like other people.. This piece brings me joy, sadness, tears and in the deepest part of my soul...and earth...A scent of yesterday
That I will give anything to get it back.. in the present.. Do you understand my writes ?
If you do..please do not add or take out.. leave it the way it is..
I left upon his heart and soul.. and I said .. good bye in my own way..
We found each other one day .. to my surprise he still loved me.
He as more mature and I was a little girl.. but he knew how to say my name
in a way no one as voice it. You see love has not time..or season..
Love is love.. and sometimes we do not hold it or embrace it.. and we let go....why?
People are not materials..and sometimes we have to see beyond and deep like the blood in out veins.. Tate I love this song.. makes me call my name ....and cry. I like it so much. Amigo

[MagiCrystal]

This song I learn when I met my 1st. love and he sing this song to me..The images I have when I hear this song brings me into the youth I left behind.
The streets and the park the beach and the kisses...finally when I left this place I remember.. his name.. and I love him so much. This poem brings me to the magical time... and the good bye and the end.
I wonder if I would of stay.. that kiss will be eternal.. Love this amazing poem that brought tears into my eyes..

[the_stoic]

"Life wasn’t meant to cost so much
that you pay for your love in tears
I couldn't bear it to be such
that I cost you your life in years"

couldn't get it the first time i read it ... you weave magic with words