well done Tate ... top notch rhyme rhythm and story telling says i! its an old and well worn debate which comes first ... the feeling or the thought .. the chicken or the egg ;) personally i don't think we can "feel" without first the thoughts ... just try "feeling" something without thinking first ;) but i hear the message in this loud and clear ... its the surrender to passions that breaths all the colors and fiery turmoil into ones life ...all the heartache one has is well worth the experience of strong emotional love and desire ... a great addition to your poetry here at the Cafe' ... always a treat to see you have posted anew!
E.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thank you Gene you always make
Me smile
5 Years Ago
:) great song choice too...gotta love that Etta James eh!? i'm sitting here listening to the whole t.. read more:) great song choice too...gotta love that Etta James eh!? i'm sitting here listening to the whole thing ;)
A beautiful write. Such an easy flow to a deep song.
Yes sometimes those two argue heavily, and it is always one who wins in the end, and as the winner takes it all the other has then to go along and support the other. Not always easy...
I've explored a similar theme once, about the tug of war between the mind and the heart. I decided to convey the controversial suggestion that the mind wins. Your poem goes a step further than that, and explores the consequences of what happens when the mind wins, and we are forced to lead a cold, calculated life. The poem really made sense when read together with the description above it. You always capture life so simply with words. This poem, though written with gentleness, portrays a lot of hurt, and the simple words chosen to portray that enhance its effect. This is another really excellent write from you. This is going into my library, too.
100/100
You have such a wondrous way of expressing life and love.. letting us all see both the beauty and the pain through such exquisite words. Everything about this is beautiful.. what you've shared, the music, and the image as well. So glad to have you at the Cafe!
Interesting thoughts that you have penned..Reminds me somewhat of "Do Not Go Softly Into The Night"...We all would do well to live life to the fullest..We only have one..See some improvement in your penning of words..Sunflower
Like I already said, You're always good with just plain rhyme schemes. I've been seeing many people here on Writer's Cafe. Many of different thoughts - There's one who writes only free verse, Tanka and haiku (jamessmiles), Some who write in various forms and meters (Abdul, Linda Marie) and there's you. I find it hard to express myself in a simple ABAB or AABB. But you can easily do it :) Maybe people should go on with what they can and like.. :)
Superb!
This is such an intelligent poem. The vocabulary is subdued, but it suits the story. The construct is great and the rhymes almost sing.
The struggle you talk about is a never-ending battle in all of us. Two sides to the same coin, yet undeniably different. It makes me think of yin & yang, fighting for the control; very amusing.
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I am a product of the Midwest. Raised on the plain states of North America. I was nurtured on a .. more..