My Son's Keeper

My son how I love him.

                                                Little Tate and I

I am my life's sole keeper

in the garden of my dreams

Within it dwell the great hopes

along with all my schemes

 

Why for me only the hard way

has taught my mind since youth

Does it seem could be no other

than a fact and cold hard truth

 

I chose the road that I tread

from my bold disdaining action

I would never listen to another

except to my own satisfaction

 

Lucky that he knows me not

for my sadness hides regret

As they who think to know me

know less the nearer they get

 

My son how I do love him

touching most his dreams within

But all I want for his heart

is to not go where I've been

Author's Note

How often we look back on the road that wound through our lives? Only to find it would have been much better if we had taken the easy way. But perhaps some of us are destined to blaze trails yet unknown. It was so with me. And yet I can't but think how much I wish something different for my own son. None of us wish our children to hurt others .Nor do we want to see them in pain.

Reviews

[The Old Ashes]

O.K.
so I try not to completely shower the writer with praise
when I write a review
but oh my god..
I'm such a crybaby lol I'm welling up.
That picture for starters
just looking at it
while reading this
but the way you ended it..
oh my goodness.
I'm a sucker for this kind of stuff. My favorite song is With Arms Wide Open by Creed...
the power of a parents love for a child.
Wowzers.
in short
I loved it
:) You're an amazing writer
They say that in order to write well,
you must write about what you know.
What you're familiar with.
This is a spectacular piece coming from an emotion you know well.
Pity this thing won't let me rate over 100.
You'd have a 110/100

[Ivory]

A beautifully written piece. I agree there is no need to grammar correct this poem.
Personally I don't pay much attention to it. I will not correct the way a writer chooses to express himself : )

[Tate Morgan]

Hi Ivory you are kind today. Thank you very much I am not much on the grammar police myself .

[C. Rose]

A nice sentiment, but I struggled with the phrasing.

I felt some were unnecessarily twisted, which was aggravated by the lack of punctuation.
For example: the second stanza, and "Lucky that ... regret" - a comma between the lines would prevent this from being read in a nonsensical way.
"As they who think .." well done.
Great last two lines.

I know you usually put up YouTube videos with your pieces.
Personally I find this incredibly distracting. I start reading your piece and then random spoken words break my focus and interfere with the wordless music I had been listening too. This is just my perspective so I haven't brought it up in the past, but I thought I should bring it up this once.
Consider choosing music that doesn't have words if you need to set the mood with music.

[C. Rose]

Oh, and missing apostrophe in the title.

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you for the review and for the thought on the apostrophe.As to the rest of the suggestions thank you but I tastefully disagree and refuse to use punctuation for the most part. I disagree a comma would be needed in this stanza.
Lucky that he knows me not
for my sadness hides regret
As they who think to know me
know less the nearer they get

I don't find any of the stanzas to be twisted in any way. For me they are exactly as I meant them to be . But thanks for the apostrophe in the title I do agree there. As to the music It is not only a cultural thing for me it is about the life and times my generation grew up in. These multi mediums are what i think are the future. I have created a few fully vidoe poems that i posted here as well, full to the rim with the pictures movement and sound that i think is essential to accessing the broad sense of emotion that was felt in their creation.

[C. Rose]

My criticisms were borderline opinions, so I completely accept that you disagree. Thank you for disagreeing tastefully.

Multi-media is great. I feel that the way it is used here clashes or overloads.
Have you considered making a video that would line by line show your poetry (or be read) with the images you chose? (Or some other arrangement within a video)
In my opinion, the current arrangement of image, word, and music video are disjointed.

I don't mean to be so focused on the negative. I really do think the last couplet is fantastic.

[Tate Morgan]

I have created a few the closest to what you are speaking of is this one Days I have known
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/aristate/1350778/

[Judy]

I am forever amazed by how you intertwine the written, visual and musical arts - they are so profound and powerful and I am possessed by your works - you make the reader feel your emotions through and through by utilizing the various senses

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you Judy I don't know how I do it I think of an emotion then a time felt that emotion mist dearly from that they come often I find music brings those memories as a smell might recall an occasion

[Rory CJ Frankson]

Bob Seager was a great choice for this poem in that passing values onto the future that holds the beating of your heart... your son.

[Marie]

I think taking the hard way is like walking into refining fire. It kills the softness and finds the strength.

[Mary]

oh, how we wish our children would not have to learn lessons the way we did, and they won't. They will learn them in their own way, and they do. Sometimes we will rejoice and sometimes we will worry and cry as they complete their "lessons." Watching our children "grow up" is difficult.

[David Lewis Paget]

Always the protective father, Tate. As a father of seven adults myself, three of them boys, I had to learn just when to let go, and let them be their own masters. Love them, yes, we always will, but let them make their own mistakes, as surely they must. Your son carries yor DNA, and everything you've taught him over the years, but in the end that individual spark will assert itself, as yours once did. Just be there when he trips.

[Mic]

Very well said. Have a son of my own, though much older than yours now. Fear not so much the paths he'll choose, but more the me I see in him as he grows.

Excellent!

[Jadey]

*sniff*

My son how I do love him
touching most his dreams within
But all I want for his heart
is to not go where I've been

A soulful writer indeed. Thanks for sharing. I have it all in my favorite.