God To Man

I am the deepening of the blue

                    

  Picture son Tater-tot

I'm the deepening of the blue

upon the sky of man

I am the stories all told

like the billowing blowing sand

 

I am he who gave you life

beneath my sky gone gold

As sunset burns and dies

I give you my stars to hold

 

You have but one fleeting chance

plant the seeds of love to grow

Create a life long everlasting

such as none could ever know

 

Then you will be the gentle soul

upon whom all life does seek

You will inherit this little world

you the loving and the meek

Author's Note

I wish for all of us that this be true.

Reviews

[Nayan]

My salute to thee, O! the Happy and all Loving Soul - Tate!

I loved so much these lines...

"Plant the seeds of love to grow.
Create a life long everlasting.
Such as none could ever know.

Then you will be the happy soul."

Thanks for such great inspiration! I would also try to write by listening to my heart and soul :)

[India Brooks]

Wonderful write (:

[Havatara]

I liked it, but for some reason, at the end of the first stanza, it seems to me that blowing and billowing should be switched. I don't know, just seemed that way. Other than that it was pretty darn good.

[A.r. Bazian]

amazing, 2 suggestions, if i may of course.
1- Stanza number 3, needs a better rhythmic build i feel.
2- last line, last stanza, i suggest humbly of course, changing "the loving and the meek" , into "... all, the loving and meek" or, for better minute meaning, "for both, the loving and meek". or simple, "all, loving and meek".
i feel the article "the" being used twice actually weakens the strength of the line, and shatters the music in it!

those were my suggestions.

all in all, i loved it, as always!

keep writing.

all my best wished good dear friend!

[Mauricio Montoya]

I think you've done an awesome job in putting this piece together from what I've read I can see this is from the heart. Excellent write.

[china]

Such a beautiful poem and the baby is adorable. This is a wonderful write.

[Geralyn Miller]

So lovely, lyrical; makes my heart sing.

[Liza]

adorable baby :)
he has your eyes
babies do inspire hope
they make you want to be better
they are the closest bond one will ever know
everything else is just art

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

A very sweet poem! Very uplifting and positive. And what an adorable baby! Nice job.

[My Fair Lady]

Very much enjoyed this tender write Tate. The picture of your son was also such a tender point. My personal beliefs are portrayed here in such a simple and loving way.. just as He teaches and promises.

This is a much appreciated reminder of the kind of child I want to be to a loving Father and the kind of mother I want to be to the beautiful souls He has entrusted into my care.
As Aways- M'Lady

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

So beautiful , tender writing :) Thank you Yossi