Fish bole

A Story by Ariel S

There was something calm in Seattle this evening. The loudest, most invasive sound was my heart beating as i called you; but that quickly faded after you didn't answer. I arrived to the hospital promptly fifteen minutes late, greeted by the lust hungry valet men. I walk into the modern and silent waiting room. Always being the youngest person in this room, it is not unusual to get the looks. The googly eyes from the old men, the low faced eye balls at the top of the old ladies glasses, and the pitiful smiles from the middle aged couple who thought they were stricken so young and so inconveniently. I take my seat by the window to try and feel some peace from the Northwest over caste. I cant help thinking jealously what your doing; hanging out with friends, laughing, making new memories, while I am forced to face my reality that I'm an eighty year old woman disguised as a twenty one year old girl. The most exciting part of my day? Filling my Vicodin prescription. Because i know I will soon after escape my pain.

Sometimes i grip tight to the truth of knowing more about life than many my age, and other days when i am weak, i loath it. shouldn't i be granted a free pass from heart brake? Is this really my life? I am a fish who is unsuccessfully breathing air. I am stuck in a world i will never connect with.