Dear Sir

This was originally part of a longer poem, and I forced it into this format. I'm not sure if it works, but it was an interesting attempt.

I now believe that we can,

with no compunctions,

dispense with formalities.

 

You look into the mirror

(Oh, dissolution!)

and pretend that you see god.

 

 

 

The original format of this was as follows:

 

Dear Sir, I believe we can dispense with the formalities.

You look into a mirror and pretend to see god.

 There is no need for dissolution.

Reviews

[Laura E. Aranda]

BRAVO
Standing ovation
Oh yes! Let alot more men of our generation read this one! HA!
Cheers,lea

[W.k.kortas]

I'm in the camp that prefers the original format, although that may be simply because it's reminiscent of Stephen Crane. That said, this version certainly requires no apologies-- the speaker states that we can "dispense with formalities", yet the tone of the piece is rather understated and formal, which is a very nice touch. It's spare, but no so much as to be incomplete. Very nice piece of writing.

[Pink Poison]

This is great! I love the originality of it. The whole thing packs a wallop for such a short poem. Great job.

[Jason Henry]

actually i like your format more...waaay more. its a beautiful piece of writing in either format however...

[lark]

to be honest, i like the original best.

it's simple and it has a sort of cool/cold/aloof grasp on the situation.