Straightjacket

The nature of insanity.

She’s wandering again.

She’s off the path, in the trees, eyes down,

hair wild.

Wild.

She’s down on her knees, digging, looking under mushrooms,

finding only ants. Only ants.

 

Only an ant could carry such a heavy load.

Only an ant could balance, like a tight-rope walker,

one foot in front of the other,

(in front of the other, in front of the other)

teetering over the brink of ridiculous pants

walking the length of a tiny branch.

 

Yesterday, she pretended she was at the circus,

pacing the yellow lines in the parking lot,

tottering, muttering, holding an umbrella high with one hand

 like a triumphant declaration of intent to defeat rain.

I thought she would fall, knowing she was balancing on sanity.

I thought she would fall, collapse

there in the shade of the willow, I thought . . .

 

I thought she was gone for good this time.

They waver - trees, ant, woman. They waver.

And suddenly I am confused. I imagine.

I picture woman, balancing on tiny branch,

load-bearing ant, carrying umbrella. The rain comes!

I imagine the fall: the woman, the ant, the trees,

each dropping gently, falling eternally,

following the gentle trajectory set in the autumn

when leaves desperately seek ground.

 

The second act begins. She totters violently.

I think she will fall, I know she will fall,

but somehow, umbrella still held in hand, she descends slowly,

beautifully, and I clap wildly. I shout!

They settle softly to land. They land, fall complete. Autumn compete.

 

After dinner, I see her again, I see her tears.

She sits in front of an unfinished puzzle,

ant crossing branch, umbrella in hand

(in hand in hand in hand).

I know that there is a piece missing.

There are always pieces missing.

 

Author's Note

I wrote this under the influence of Nyquil, and I know that parts of it are better than others. Feel free to offer suggestions. Also, thanks to those who have helped me refine it so far.

Reviews

[Spat Queen]

I'm thinking what the piece would be under the title, 'Rediculous Pants'. It almost becomes a focus that lends to the sentiment in relation to ones individual perspective of sanity. What is rediculous to one person is another's "umbrella". The way a variety of things falling becomes something for 'Autumn' to compete with almost transforms the 'ugliness' of insanity into something beautiful, (perhaps). I enjoyed reading this.

[Rainbowco]

Wow! what a study in originality, brillant line flow.

[Miss Shea]

It sounds like it all it needs to be complete is a tune and a damn good singer... Bravo Ari. :]

[Ashley B.]

I love the image(s) with the umbrella. You turn something very concrete into a complex image. The third stanza really sticks with me.

[Angel's Lady]

This is awesome! I love it! I wouldn't change a thing!

(PS: I used to know an old man who drank 3 beers and a half bottle of Nyquil every night!)

[emz]

I have no idea what Nyquil is but it sounds pretty amazing lol
I really enjoyed this write, it was very fast paced almost lyrical... Great images of insanity and great use of words... I personally don't think anything needs changing as the whole idea is about insanity and you captured it brilliantly.
A friend a while back reviewed one of my poems and he said that sometimes if you keep cutting and cutting you can eventually ruin the diamond i feel this way about your poem.

Great write

[Todd]

I can clearly feel the insanity I think you were aiming for (at least that's what I discerned you were aiming for from the title). The shift of subject keeps me disorientated but wildly amused and hooked to the end. I agree with Emily Rose - the pants line feels a bit too out of the blue. I mean, a lot of the poem is out of the blue, but it's within a sort of sphere that the pants just don't seem to fit. Otherwise, I think you should only fix what you feel needs to be fixed. I don't think any of it is unnecessary - it all keeps the movement of the poem going. Great write!

[Tessa]

i love this. it makes me feel insane reading it. ;-)

[Lola]

I quite like this. The concept is intriguing; you've described insanity adequately enough. The second stanza sounded a bit strange for me... not quite sure what it is, but it sounded a bit off. But otherwise, this was an excellent poem.
And you are right; there are always pieces missing. ;)

[GraceKelly1974]

Wow! I mean wow! I really have no words worthy to describe that piece. I was moved and thoroughly enjoyed this. Thank you. (Perhaps I need Nyquil...LOL)

[Lyndsay Castro]

I really like this. I like all things that come out of Nyquil, including my husband's paintings and now your poems. When they said they were changing the formula we stocked up. Anyhoo, I like this just the way it is. I don't know what revisions you've made, but I like the flow of it and it doesn't sound pharmecutically induced whatsoever. It's simple but it puts forth such depth, and leaves me wanting more. Kudos, dude!