Straightjacket

The nature of insanity.

She’s wandering again.

She’s off the path, in the trees, eyes down,

hair wild.

Wild.

She’s down on her knees, digging, looking under mushrooms,

finding only ants. Only ants.

 

Only an ant could carry such a heavy load.

Only an ant could balance, like a tight-rope walker,

one foot in front of the other,

(in front of the other, in front of the other)

teetering over the brink of ridiculous pants

walking the length of a tiny branch.

 

Yesterday, she pretended she was at the circus,

pacing the yellow lines in the parking lot,

tottering, muttering, holding an umbrella high with one hand

 like a triumphant declaration of intent to defeat rain.

I thought she would fall, knowing she was balancing on sanity.

I thought she would fall, collapse

there in the shade of the willow, I thought . . .

 

I thought she was gone for good this time.

They waver - trees, ant, woman. They waver.

And suddenly I am confused. I imagine.

I picture woman, balancing on tiny branch,

load-bearing ant, carrying umbrella. The rain comes!

I imagine the fall: the woman, the ant, the trees,

each dropping gently, falling eternally,

following the gentle trajectory set in the autumn

when leaves desperately seek ground.

 

The second act begins. She totters violently.

I think she will fall, I know she will fall,

but somehow, umbrella still held in hand, she descends slowly,

beautifully, and I clap wildly. I shout!

They settle softly to land. They land, fall complete. Autumn compete.

 

After dinner, I see her again, I see her tears.

She sits in front of an unfinished puzzle,

ant crossing branch, umbrella in hand

(in hand in hand in hand).

I know that there is a piece missing.

There are always pieces missing.

 

Author's Note

I wrote this under the influence of Nyquil, and I know that parts of it are better than others. Feel free to offer suggestions. Also, thanks to those who have helped me refine it so far.

Reviews

[Spat Queen]

I'm thinking what the piece would be under the title, 'Rediculous Pants'. It almost becomes a focus that lends to the sentiment in relation to ones individual perspective of sanity. What is rediculous to one person is another's "umbrella". The way a variety of things falling becomes something for 'Autumn' to compete with almost transforms the 'ugliness' of insanity into something beautiful, (perhaps). I enjoyed reading this.

[DiamondNRough AKA Patty..]

You took your reader to the scene of insanity. I love reading poems that put me at the scene.

"I know that there is a piece missing.

There are always pieces missing."

There is nothing missing from your poem... it is truely life of the natrual insanity.

Enjoyed it!

[Raj]

"I know that there is a piece missing.

There are always pieces missing."

I dont know if these two came from Nyquil, but this is the soul of the poem. Fantastic!

When I read a poem I am always on the look out for the punch at the end. This one was a knock out. One piece of suggestion though, don't refine it too much, just let it be. It's beautiful when it's raw. Good:)

[Mary]

I really like the repetition, "(in front of the other, in front of the other)"
Very effective.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

I think it's a completed job, though our poems are never really completed.

You have captured the confusion and illogical actions of a person who has relasped into insanity, as so many do with mental illness. Your babbling (repeativeness in areas) is creative it shows the mind of the person who has fallen off the beaten path.

It's well written and clear in a insane understanding.

Good write.

[Tamme]

The repetition gives this life. It's like I can hear your words (no I am not crazy I just can't think of a way to describe it at the moment) I think it would make a really awesome spoken piece.

[Daniele]

what a fantastic bit of prose! i love it and i was in this frail little lady's world within the very first couple of lines.......

[T]

I am intrigued by your poem and considering the potential effects of nyquil LOL....I think this is brilliantly penned...I thought of this person dressed in a ridiculous fashion so the pants thing made sense to me...

[Schlechter Kornwurm]

i quite enjoyed the way you portrayed her only reality as an amusement park fantasy...the emptiness of what she feels in reality, the phrasing could've been changed in the "ridiculous pants" line, yet it still portrays a vivid mental image...well written...i enjoyed it quite thoroughly...

[Katie]

that was really good o and i love your picture