A Shanty

While brainstorming for a story I'm planning to write, I got in the mood to write a sea shanty.

A sailor's life is a lonely life, but it's the only life for me

I stay up late and I don't sleep in and I'm ever at the sea

Way back home there's a girl I know; she's the beauty of the town

She waits for me, sailing on the sea, yet she never wears a frown

I promised her that when I arrive I will marry her that day

She only smiled as she said to me, “Better hurry on your way!”

A sailor's life is a modest life, but it's the only life for me

I don't make much nor complain of such 'cause my home is on the sea

My Mum and Dad, may God bless their souls, for they could not be more proud

They think of me in my uniform and they sing my praise out loud

My Mum she said, “Don't forget the Lord. You must not forget to pray.”

My Dad he said, “Son, I'll envy you while you smoke and drink all day!”

A sailor's life is a drunken life but it's the only life for me

I drink my fill of either wine or swill and I toast it to the sea

My Captain, now there's a proper chap, he's the finest man I know

You'd never guess from his tight run deck of the jugs of rum below

He works us hard and he drives us mad till the sun sets in the West

Come the night he's crude, and we all get stewed. May our Captain e're be blessed!

A sailor's life is a lonely life, but it's the only life for me

Let my voice stay strong while I sing this song as the sea devours me

Reviews

[Writer #00]

"Don't forget the lord. You must not forget to pray."--> I don't know, but I think this line would flow better (in terms of both the fantastic rhythms of the poem and the dialogue of a sailor's mother) if you contracted "must not" to "musn't", a suggestion, only, of course.

I really do enjoy the, I don't know how to describe it...bouncy?...rhythm of the poem. It rather catches the sort of undulation of the waves a sailor must travel on as well as keeps a rhythm and hinted melody in the mind of the reader throughout the shanty. Great job using repetition of syntax every other stanza with the "sailor's life" bit, it kept the feeling of a sea shanty and the basic energy of an archetypal sailor's life alive throughout. The last line left me thinking, especially considering the word "lonely" follows a whole stanza about all the many people on the ship who could provide company to the singer of the shanty. It creates a melancholic, wistful tone in which the sailor's loneliness may be accounted to all the other people in his life (whom you cleverly mentioned beforehand) he has had to create such a gap of time and distance between because of the "sailor's life", a life that is slowly consuming him until there may be nothing left for him to find on land. Brilliant little shanty and a joy to read, thanks much for sharing!