Fallen Shepherds of Light

Fallen Shepherds of Light

 

Not all who struggled

The pathway paved of light

Remained faithful in perpetuity

Slips and slides

Stumbles and falls arose

 

What you suggest

And what you achieve

Can be disparate cosmoses

When they should

Be only one

 

Waving faux banners

Of righteousness and hope

They steal their credit

Where condemnation

Or mild acceptance is earned

 

What drives such children

Into forsaking salvation?

Most often, this is a simple matter

Of greed, expedience, or fatigue

Sacrifice is never pleasant

 

While the trail of redemption

Becomes sickly through neglect

A stout machete or ax

Fells even the mightiest of trees

Grow old not weary

 

Author's Note

This finished the first time as a "brain fart poem." I am not sure that it is not still that, but I sick of working on it. It might be my apathetic mood. I may come back to it later. It seems to convey my message, "Bah!"

ANAGRAM: 'Brain Fart Poem' - 'If rampant bore.'

I kind of got bored of the original before the end; this one sort of kept me entertained. ANAGRAM ANALYSIS: "I suspect that if you do too many of these and pass them around in some fashion, you will probably lose your readers to a very large degree."

Perhaps, it is plagued by bad memories of the fallen. "Come on guys and girls. We can have another mulit-faith crusade against the 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse! We'll get those campers! Don't worry! We will conquer death! How about conquest? He is still really bugging me, but we can try to conquer him! How about a Christian crusade against just those two at this time? We're winning battles while both winning and losing the war. If we stop now, we will just lose all the more."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4_Horsemen

I think that I might have overworkd the 5/5 format for the 5 alleged prophets that keep recycling themselves as "new people" giving rise to 5 more! This is much the concept of the Mathmatical Miracle of the Quran.

http://www.submission.org/miracle/

Reviews

[Drea]

This is a brain fart poem? Good Glory Mine would look more like...
I am sorry but what in the Hell is wrong with you people?

Surely these are words of a deep thinker. One who clearly sees those who hide behind the brilliant shine of the glamouring claim to be doing good works in the name of "take your pick" but have lost their way in the quagmire of self rightousnes, greed, power, fanaticism, etc.

Works for me. Brain fart. Hah.

[lori c]

no worries here about it not being worthwhile. charlatans and manipulators need a spotlight to shine on them removing the shadows which so easily conceal their deeds. i really enjoyed this.

[NJ Schneider]

Well, *laughs* for a 'brain fart poem' it was very good, amazing in fact. It was very deep an meaningful and I loved it!

Write on.

Much love,

Caine

[Joseph - Michael]

It's alright, bud, I can see all kind of messages behind those words, so no worries here. And it's all still good here...

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Certainly a powerful message here. Well penned and striking verbage. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Fran Marie]

What you suggest

And what you achieve

Can be disparate cosmoses

When they should

Be only one

well written write ~THanks for sharing~Fran

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

"disparate"
Is that word supposed to be desperate?
Just thought I'd ask. I might not have spelled it right either. That is not my strong subject.

I liked this poem a lot. If you want to know the truth. I believe that the 2nd stanza isn't as strong as the rest of the poem but the 3rd stanza totally made up for it.
"Waving faux banners
Of righteousness and hope"
Love that!
Love All,
Mejasha

[Emily B]

There is something here. I don't know that I would or could change anything. I would very much like to come back and read this again before I make up my mind.

I finished reading a book last night, the hero believes himself beyond redemption. Caught between Roman Catholic and Protestant beliefs he fears himself lost. It comes to mind because one of the kind teachers/ministers shared the story of Saul of Tarsis to ease the conscience of the lost soul. Sentimental, romanticism of the 1830's but an enlightening read nevertheless.

[Marie]

I agree with J. Was well written for a brainfart poem.

[JC Fox]

LOL Brainfart poem, well for a brain fart it was really good, nice imagery, great lines, smooth movement.