NEWS RELEASE: AP PRESS RELEASE ON MAGIC...

See below...

DRAFT PRESS RELEASE

Magic is a matter of extreme importance to the people of Earth at this time.  In the form of “magic talk,” silent encoded communications, magic is the opportunity to find your missing children without a cellular telephone.  Magic has some hope for our human scientific endeavors; one can build a scientific experiment and test its results.  Magic is self-defense, the opportunity to bring injury or death to your enemies.  Magic is all this and more!

I call upon the news of the world to cover magic as soon as possible and to bring magic out of the realm of scientific questionability.  With my handful of successful experiments in physical magic and my best friend’s experiments in “silent talk,” I believe that we have shown that magic is scientifically viable.

THE EARLY YEARS OF MAGIC

               I do not claim responsibility for the discovery of or scientific proof of magic in the modern era; this I attribute to my best friend.  My best friend claims to have adequately tested magic talk enough to believe it exists and is functional as well.  By this, I suspect that he means that he and his test group have tested sending messages encoded in silent magic and received them correctly enough times to suggest more than random chance.  Better proof of magic than this I do not currently have.

EXPERIMENTS IN MAGIC

               My early experiments with magic were very different than those of my best friend.  While my best friend concentrated on sending and receiving communications by magic, I centered my attention on what I believe to be more difficult magic, magic with physical results.

               If I remember correctly, my first spell was “astral projection.”  I had already received what I believe was a divine sign as to the location of Usama Bin Ladin, a blood red battlefield on a map of part of El Salvador that I saw on my computer.  I guess I wanted to see Usama’s house if the map was his true location. So, I tried to send my soul to El Salvador to look around, and I guess it worked.

               I believe that I also accurately remember my second spell which came considerably later than my first spell.  When I was at my brother’s house, I tried to move his refridgerator by magic.  I failed to move the appliance.  But, while casting the spell, I became terrified that God does not allow mag           ic; this is “negative thinking” and incorrectly, I believe.  God is love, and he must allow magic!

               The final spell I wish to discuss from my early years was an attempt to make my cellular phone play music for my parents.  They were having difficult believing in magic, and I thought seeing magic in person might help.  It appears to have helped little if at all.

               Physical magic may be rare, perhaps a once in a lifetime experience.  This would explain why scientists have failed to proven magic over the years: they did not try enough times.  I am not saying that magic has been proven beyond reasonable doubt, yet, but I firmly believe that we have good evidence of magic.

CONCLUSIONS

               Magic is not only n possible; I believe that magic has been proven.  Although magic is not indisputable, I believe it is time to see magic in the news.