Scarecrow

SpokenWord challenged me to write this poem, so I did.

oh, you gorgeous little ghost story...
you can keep on screamin' for that rain
till your bones crack and the sky goes deaf;
ain't nothin' gonna wash you away.

ain't no one gonna let you live this down.

there's a damn good reason
you never see heartbreakers at funerals.
there's an even better one
behind the way your nightmare-black dress
looks more innocent than the girl it embraces.
while i suspect that you don't need me
to remind you of either,
i do wonder how long you'll take to notice
that this is the kind of thing
houses get haunted for.

and darling,
if the heavens should ever hint at mercy,
know that i'll be there watching
for the clouds to spit you back out
as soon as gravity starts feeling spiteful

(even if this wasteland is more than you deserve.)

Author's Note

http://www.writerscafe.org/groups/I-Challenge-You/4159/forum/13827/

Reviews

[OT]

I wonder why I always see pictures so differently to most hmm who knows ha I was guessing people would go this route with it ha but i didn't see it (her as evil/darker) - anyways lol rambles over - brilliant response to the prompt (as expected) - the killer lines are definitely - "for the clouds to spit you back out
as soon as gravity starts feeling spiteful" - the girl in black - scarecrow - nice

[Miss Fox]

"your nightmare-black dress
looks more innocent than the girl it embraces."
sir, you really are an incredible writer. But I can't stop thinking how the narrator may be a bit harsh on her. But that just gives you even more to think about, doesn't it? You're just good at that, Mr. Blake. I look forward to reading even more of your work.

[Joiedevivre]

immense, your expression of love. Like no other I ve read. Even if in reverse.

[Octob3r Star]

Nice write!

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Great poem.

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

This is pretty doggone amazing. I could hear a voice literally spitting the words out, like those clouds that do not want her there.
Icy, edgy, excellent.

[Emily B]

witchy woman . . .

:)

kinda put cold chills on my neck, that's good poetry

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Timeless and anti-hero to the point of feeling, a real provocative use of wording. I felt as if you dawned your time so as to make the reader react, well done.

[SpokenWord]

I do enjoy your poetry how you express is refreshing. I like the dark take on this it is different than any other I have read so far. In a way it is like she asking for forgiveness but instead she is being made to face what she has done, no easy way out of it. What you said about her dress made me laugh that was some good writing and expressions there. Nice work on this write. You hit this right on the mark, creative and expressive, Outstanding!

[jessicamarie19]

For someone who "most of the time" doesn't write "at all", you sure do write well! There are some killer lines in this piece - and in many of your pieces I have been reading this morning. There is so much creativity in your writing and no cliches - and that is a sign of a true writer. I have really enjoyed your stuff. This particular poem is a bit painful, but the best often are. These are some of my favorite lines:

that this is the kind of thing
houses get haunted for.

for the clouds to spit you back out
as soon as gravity starts feeling spiteful