Crumbling Dictionaries and the Beds You Leave Behind

The longest word in this poem is cigarettes.

look at you now:

sliding off this mattress so goddamn deftly
you might be able to convince a less observant stranger
that even a single one of the rooms
your tattooed feet have touched in the last 20 years
had a floor that was made of lava.
you know that there's no name for the silence you keep
while you escape through every furniture labyrinth
that the morning dark of random motels has to offer...

...right?

either way, i bet you realize that i know my way home
less well than your lies know their way around the cigarettes
you smoke down to the filter, and then some,
but i guess i just wanted to show you
that it wouldn't take more than a match
and three syllables at a time
to nail you to a page and set you on fire.

these dumps charge me by the hour.
these nights charge you by the sin.

Reviews

[Jeanmarie Flaherty]

Okay. The phrase that slipped from my lips when this was done was simply

"Good lord."

If wow wasn't such a undeserving word to use towards your writing then I would just write that and leave. But it seems your brain would simply be insulted...it would have to be.

This is laced with disgust, with the painted vision of a woman who believes, due to her own insecurities or simply disillusions, that she is better than a pay by the hour room...despite the fact she dwells there.

It's dark and dingy, there's spit laying across your words, it's the color of rust and has the scent of stale smoke at 3 AM. Nicotine stained walls and you captured everything...

I can almost hear her voice.

Brilliant, Darlin'. You've caught my attention.

~Jeanie.

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

How can I begin to describe this good poem?, the word that comes to mind is "awesome". You hit this high out of the ball park my friend.

[Miss Fox]

"you smoke down to the filter, and then some,"
"to nail you to a page and set you on fire."
And not to mention the last two lines.
Jesus, you're a great writer. Do I even have to specify my favorite lines? Each one is heavy with meaning.

[LA Lorena]

yes, a resounding WOW! those last 2 lines say it all.

[ju]

wow. i do like that.
"less well than your lies know their way around the cigarettes / you smoke down to the filter, and then some" love, love, love that line.