Chapter 1: humble beginnings

The first chapter is usually where the character and world is set up. I suppose this shouldn't be any different.

Alright, this is usually where a narrator would have a hook, something to reel in the reader and stop them from clicking the 'back' arrow on their browser. Usually something like "Mary Sue had grown up with the dream of being the greatest knight of them all!" or some bullshit like that. I just can't be bothered.

Mkay, so I guess that we should stick to a traditional three-act story. I'm in the mood for a good, old-fashioned fantasy story, don'tcha think? ...kay, let's get into this. F**k me, I'm not drunk enough for this. Hang on.

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Nothing but a coffee machine in this entire place. I guess this will have to do. Mkay, let's get into this!

Our hero starts out in the town square and starts hacking the s**t out of slimes. Wait, a backstory? I need to make a backstory?

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Our hero was born in the magical world of Magicworldia, a land ruled by an evil king named... Dragno. Dragno ruled his land with an ironic fist. He forced the people of Magicworldia into slavery, making them work all day. The revolution lasted about a day before Dragno's forces of darkness pummeled them. 

Our hero was born in a small farming village, working the crops as soon as he was old enough. He always wanted more out of life, than to just work all day for the king and get nothing in return. He wanted adventure and excitement, he wanted to be free! So, when he became of age, he stole his father's sword and snuck out of the village.

Oh s**t, I forgot to name our main character. What kind of narrator am I? Wait, let me get to an online fantasy name generator. Those work well, right? Okay... let's see... hmm... how about Reisad Ralad? Or what about Somvadard Rekekutha? Or, ooh this is a good one, Uenruetuel Juldazo? F**k me, I'm REALLY not drunk enough for this. Let's go with something good. Something classic. How about Harry?

So Harry set out on his adventure. What new things would he see and do? What would he find? He was excited to find out.

Turning a corner in the path, he saw a slime. He tried to walk past the slime, but the slime attacked him! Fortunately, being a slime, all it did was get him messy, but Harry was pissed off anyways. So, taking his sword, he swung at the slime! With a messy blorp, the slime disintegrated into a puddle of ooze and regrets.

So our hero went, walking along his trail. He eventually came upon a town, where his inevitable love interest lived. So ends chapter one.

Author's Note

I know it's short. Let me know what you think of this!